


If You're Looking for It

by nova_lies



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-14
Updated: 2011-07-14
Packaged: 2017-10-21 09:57:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/223911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nova_lies/pseuds/nova_lies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is an accountant; Jared is the assistant manager of a bookstore. They've been best friends since the instant they met in college six years ago, and Jared has always been there for Jensen no matter what he needed. So when Jared leads his mother to believe they're dating, Jensen figures it's easy enough to go along with it. It doesn't go exactly as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You're Looking for It

**Author's Note:**

> [Fic Master Post on LJ](http://nova-lies.livejournal.com/52967.html)   
> [Art Master Post on LJ](http://awakencordy.livejournal.com/512070.html)
> 
> Warnings: Some mentions of homophobia.

Jared is the first person Jensen tells when he gets the notice from his landlord. They have plans to hang out at Jensen's apartment, but Jared's running late. It's fifteen after seven when he comes in the door, waving a DVD case in the air.

He gives Jensen an apologetic look. "Sorry I'm late. I forgot the movie and had to go back for it."

"Don't worry about it," Jensen says. "The pizza should be here any minute."

"Awesome." Jared drops down next to Jensen on the couch and tosses the movie onto the end table. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Jensen says, picking at a loose thread on his jeans.

Jared takes one look at him and says, "I don't believe you."

Jensen snorts, dropping his head back against the couch and looking at Jared. "God, how do you do that?"

"I'm not doing anything," Jared says. "You're just a terrible liar. What's going on?"

Jensen sighs. "It's nothing major. But I talked to my landlord today, and he said I have to be out of the apartment by the end of the month."

"He's kicking you out?" Jared asks, sitting up straight and looking somewhat offended.

Jensen makes a face. "Well, it sounds really extreme when you put it that way."

Jared frowns and eyes Jensen suspiciously. "What did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what did you do to make him want to kick you out?"

"Nothing," Jensen says, scowling. "His kid's getting married or having a baby or something, so they need the place."

Jared does not look impressed. "Is that even legal?"

"What?" Jensen rolls his eyes. "Don't be dramatic; of course it's legal. It's all in the lease. Thirty days notice and--whatever. It's legal."

"So what are you gonna do?"

Jensen shrugs. "I guess I'm going to start looking for another apartment."

"You could always stay with me," Jared says, and Jensen isn't surprised by the offer at all.

"I don't know," Jensen says hesitantly.

"Seriously, I have plenty of room. And you're pretty much the only person who uses my guest room anyway."

"I know, but--"

"Dude, should I be offended that you'd rather live on the street than stay with me?"

Jensen snorts. "Probably," he says, laughing when Jared punches him on the shoulder. "No, it's not that. I don't want to, I don't know, impose or--whatever."

"Come on." Jared rolls his eyes.

"I'll be fine. I have almost a whole month to find a place."

"Sure," Jared agrees easily. "But if you don't--"

"If I don't, I will come impose on you until you begin to regret this entire conversation," Jensen says.

Jared grins. "That's all I ask."

***

It's only three weeks later when Jensen takes Jared up on his offer. There's no way he's going to find anything before the month is up, and he figures there's no need to put it off any longer. Jared smiles smugly at him like he knew it was coming, and together they manage to get Jensen moved into Jared's apartment in only a day. It doesn't actually take much effort; most of his furniture belongs to his landlord, and all of his belongings fit into a surprisingly small number of boxes.

"This is only temporary," Jensen says as he sets the last box down in Jared's guest room. "I'll try to find something soon."

Jared waves a hand in the air dismissively. "Don't worry about it," he says. "It'll be nice to have some company around here, anyway."

Jensen makes a noncommittal noise. It's not that Jensen specifically has a problem with living with Jared. He doesn't smell, he doesn't throw wild parties, and--aside from his apparently extreme aversion to washing dishes--he keeps his apartment fairly clean; he doesn't do anything that should make him bad roommate material. He has also been Jensen's best friend for nearly six years, so Jensen knows they should theoretically be capable of getting along living in the same place. But Jensen has never done well with living with people. Even when he was living at home, he tended to keep to himself, and while he may have shared a dorm his first year of college, he is still amazed that he and his roommate both made it out of that situation alive. So maybe he is slightly wary about trying that out again, even with Jared.

"Do you need any help unpacking?" Jared asks.

"Nah," Jensen says, glancing at him. "I'll do it later or something. Come on, let's get something to eat."

***

It takes Jensen a few days to get entirely settled in. He keeps feeling like he should be heading home when it starts getting late, and half of the time he feels like he's merely waiting for one of them to get on the other's nerves bad enough to start a fight, even though he knows thinking that way is silly and unfair to Jared, considering everything.

Jensen met Jared when he was still in college. He was technically supposed to have been done the semester before, but a sudden burst of determination had him resolving to come out to his parents before graduation. It didn't go nearly as well as he'd hoped. He never regretted it, and their reaction wasn't a complete surprise, but he honestly hadn't been prepared for them to cut him out of their lives so thoroughly. He ended up having to drop most of his classes and pick up more hours at the diner he worked at to afford the two classes he stayed in. Then he worked almost nonstop all summer so he'd be able to graduate only one semester behind.

That last semester, Jared was a freshman in one of the lower-level courses Jensen had been putting off for a while. Jared came to Dallas for college because he wanted to get away from home without going too far, and he hadn't really made any friends yet. He happened to sit next to Jensen and strike up a conversation; it didn't take long after that for them to become close friends, nearly inseparable. Jensen had worried a little when Jared graduated four years later that he'd move back to San Antonio, and he'd be out a best friend. He spent some time wondering how weird it would be to follow him there and how hard it would be to make it look like a coincidence. Nobody would ever be able to get Jensen to admit how relieved he'd been when Jared accepted the promotion he'd been offered at work and stayed in town.

So, yeah, there's no reason for Jensen to think living with Jared will go wrong, not after almost six years of him being the best friend Jensen's ever known. Hell, Jensen's spent every major holiday--and most of the minor ones--in the last five years with Jared and his family, and they haven't driven each other off yet.

After about two weeks of living with Jared, Jensen accepts that he's just being paranoid and weird, and, in reality, it's kind of nice having someone around all the time when he actually likes them. He spends a couple more days looking half-heartedly through the rental ads before he gives up all pretense of ever trying to move out of Jared's apartment.

***

Jensen's sitting at the kitchen table in front of a bowl of some off brand cereal that mostly tastes like cardboard, one hand wrapped firmly around his cup of coffee, when Jared walks into the room. His hair is damp, and he's wearing nothing but a towel. He goes to pour himself a cup of coffee, and Jensen figures he's lucky Jared knows how useless he is this early in the morning because it gives Jensen an excuse to gape stupidly at him for a minute.

"Where the fuck are your clothes?" Jensen asks when he decides he can manage to string enough words together to form a coherent sentence.

Jared glances down and actually manages to look surprised to find himself standing in his kitchen mostly naked.

"Sorry," he says as he sets the mug in his hand down on the counter. "Guess I'm still not used to always having someone around. I'll just go get dressed." He turns to walk out of the room, and Jensen watches him, his eyes following drops of water down Jared's back until they disappear into the towel draped across his ass. Jensen blinks and wonders if anybody ever explained to Jared how to use a towel; he's obviously not very good at it.

Jared returns, fully clothed, a few minutes later. "What are you doing up so early?" he asks.

"Work," Jensen answers, and he finishes up his breakfast with a grimace.

"On Saturday?" Jared pours himself a bowl of cereal and sits down across from Jensen.

Jensen raises an eyebrow. "Today's Friday," he says as he stands up and puts his bowl in the sink. He grabs Jared's forgotten mug off the counter and fills it with coffee before turning back to the table.

"Really?" Jared squints at Jensen like he's trying to determine if he's telling the truth.

"Really." Jensen hands the coffee to Jared, who takes it with a nod of thanks.

"If it's Friday, I _don't_ have to be at work," Jared says, frowning. "What am I doing up so early?"

"I don't know. Sucks to be you, I guess," Jensen says. Jared swats him on the ass when he walks by on the way out of the kitchen, and Jensen laughs. "Go back to bed, man," he says. "I'll see you later."

***

Jensen doesn't hate his job, but sometimes he finds it completely aggravating. He works as an accountant for a company that owns a small local chain of hardware stores--Jim's Hardware. He's been there about four and a half years; it's the only job he's ever had that actually put his degree to use. When he first started, he was mostly recording the company's daily transactions, preparing statements at the end of each month, and doing a ton of filing. He still feels like a glorified bookkeeper a lot of the time, but at least now he gets to handle the budget and analyze something every once in a while. Of course, he also has to deal with Jake, the company's other accountant, who's a nice enough guy but doesn't do well without direction and calls Jensen "Mr. Ackles" no matter how many times Jensen says he doesn't need to. He gives Jensen a headache sometimes, but it could be worse.

Katie is thrusting paperwork at Jensen before he even has a chance to sit down. "Jim is looking for you," she says.

"What does he want?" Jensen asks, not really wanting to know.

"He said something about missing financial reports."

"They're not missing," Jensen says, rolling his eyes. "Jake entered them into the database last week. And I know this because I had to show him how to use the program. Again."

"He insists he can't find them. You know how he is." Katie shrugs apologetically, and Jensen nods.

"Okay. What's this?" he asks, indicating the folder she'd handed him. She shakes her head.

"I have no idea; something from IT."

Jensen groans, and Katie gives him a consoling pat on the arm. "Thanks, I guess," he says.

Jensen spends the next hour showing his boss how to use the new system they've got on the computer--it's the third time he's done it, but Jim can't seem to get the hang of it--then he spends a while making paper copies of everything because, "You can't be too safe, Jensen; I just don't trust these computers."

Then Jake accidentally presses delete instead of rename and--for some reason--presses okay instead of cancel, and Jensen has to spend nearly half an hour convincing him Jim isn't going to fire him, and he can't take a sick day to deal with the trauma, and--

"My God, Jake, it is in the recycle bin; just click restore," Jensen says, exasperated.

Jake looks embarrassed at that, and Jensen feels kind of bad, but Jake nearly has a nervous breakdown almost every day; there is only so much Jensen can take.

By the time Jensen gets to sit down at his desk, it's after eleven. And even after looking at it for ten minutes, he has no idea what's in the folder from IT either.

Okay, so maybe sometimes Jensen does hate his job, just a little.

***

"It's not that bad," Katie says when they're on their lunch break.

Jensen raises his eyebrows in disbelief. "Is that a joke?"

Katie purses her lips. "Well, I guess you do have to work next to Jake all day."

Jensen nods, poking at a french fry with his fork. "I mean, he's a nice guy, but--he can be exhausting sometimes."

"He seems so nervous all the time."

"He's afraid of his computer," Jensen says. Katie snorts, and Jensen looks up at her. "I'm not joking."

"He's afraid of his computer," Katie says, and Jensen isn't sure if it's a statement or a question.

"Yes. I don't know what he thinks it will do to him, but he miraculously becomes competent when he's away from the thing."

Katie leans forward, looking interested. "And you never asked him why?"

Jensen shrugs. "I don't want to make him have a panic attack or something."

"Hmm," Katie agrees, looking put out. Then she brightens. "Hey. So, my friend, Tamara, has this cousin. He's really hot."

"Oh, yeah? That's nice." Jensen looks at Katie and thinks he knows where this conversation is going.

"And he's gay," Katie says, confirming Jensen suspicions.

Jensen hums sympathetically, feigning ignorance. "That's too bad."

Katie rolls her eyes at him. "I could set you up with him."

"You can't just try to set me up with every gay guy you know," Jensen says.

"That's not what I'm doing. But you haven't been on a single date in, like, six months."

"There was that one--"

"It doesn't count if you didn't even know his last name," Kate says, raising an eyebrow as if daring Jensen to disagree.

Jensen sighs. "Whatever. I don't have time to date." It's not entirely true, but Jensen prefers that excuse to trying to explain that he simply isn't much of a dater. He knows Katie means well, but she's over invested in his love life as it is; he doesn't want to encourage her. She's also wrong about the last time he went on an actual date; it's been closer to a year. It had been even longer before that when he'd dated Paul for about five months--his longest relationship to date--and the last person he'd been on a date with before that was probably actually Jared, back when they first met and before Jensen realized he needed a friend more than a boyfriend at that point.

"Come on, you might have fun." Katie gives him an encouraging look.

"Maybe some other time," Jensen says, glancing at his watch. "Let's go; we're gonna be late."

Katie huffs but doesn't bring it up again on the way back to the office.

***

Jensen's afternoon is almost as eventful as his morning was. Jim has a special order request for him to look at, and while the calculations themselves aren't hard to do, convincing Jim of the results is. He doesn't ever want to sell anything at a discount, even when Jensen has the figures to prove it would be profitable. Jensen doesn't know why Jim gives him the special orders when he already knows he doesn't want to fill them; it makes Jensen's job harder than it needs to be. It takes bringing Jake in to back him up, but Jim finally relents and contacts the customer to let them know they'll fill the order.

After that, Jensen has to meet with someone in the IT department so they can explain the contents of the mysterious folder from that morning. It turns out they only want to go over any problems with the new computer system and give Jensen an update about a few changes, which doesn't take long. Jensen technically could go home when he's done with that, but he ends up staying late to help Jake look over some accounts he's behind on.

Jensen's relieved when he manages to make it home five minutes before seven. He tosses his keys onto the coffee table and flops down on the couch with a sigh.

"Long day?" Jensen startles a bit at the question and looks up to see Jared standing in the kitchen doorway.

Jensen grumbles incoherently, and Jared laughs. "What was that?"

"Don't mock my pain," Jensen says gravely. "It's not my fault my brain is too exhausted to form real words."

Jared makes a sympathetic noise. "Want to go out? I'll buy you a drink."

"You have to work in the morning," Jensen says.

"So we won't stay out late."

Jensen hums, considering. "How about you just bring me a beer from the fridge," he says. "I don't really feel like moving."

Jared laughs again and disappears, coming back a minute later and tossing a bottle at Jensen. Jared wanders off into the kitchen again, and soon Jensen can hear him clanging around. Jensen musters the energy to push himself up from the couch so he can investigate.

"What's going on in here?" Jensen asks, stepping into the kitchen. There are a couple of pots boiling on the stove, and Jared is sprawled out on the floor, his head and shoulders disappearing into one of the cabinets like he's trying to climb inside.

"Have you seen the colander?" Jared asks, his voice muffled.

"No," Jensen says slowly.

Jared slides back and turns to Jensen, looking at him speculatively. "Do you even know what a colander is?"

"Yes." Jensen scowls. "I'm not _that_ useless in the kitchen."

"Sorry," Jared says, but Jensen doesn't think he's even trying to hold back his grin. His head disappears back into the cabinet, and within a few minutes he emerges again, holding the colander up triumphantly. "Grab some plates," he says. "Food's almost ready."

Jensen gets a couple of plates out while Jared drains the pasta, and they settle down at the table to eat. Jared starts enthusiastically talking about his own day, and Jensen finally starts to truly relax.

***

Katie calls in sick because she decides she deserves a long weekend, and Jensen can't think of anything better to do during his lunch break than harass Jared at work, a bookstore called The Dog's Ear. Jared started there as a clerk when he was a junior in college and was promoted to assistant manager after he graduated; Jensen has enough experience hanging out there to know he won't get Jared into trouble doing it.

Jensen finds Jared toward the back of the store with a customer, and he grabs a book off one of the shelves near by to flip through while he waits for Jared to be free.

"What are you doing here?" Jensen turns at Jared's question and sees that the customer must have wandered off while he was absorbed in reading about tropical rain forests.

"It's nice to see you too," Jensen says, shoving his book back in its place.

Jared rolls his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Katie's pretending to be sick today."

"And of course your solution to losing your lunch buddy is to inflict yourself on me."

Jensen makes a face. "Don't call her my lunch buddy; I'm not five."

"I'll just take that as a yes," Jared says.

"I came to see if you could take your break now, actually; I thought maybe we could grab lunch. But I wouldn't want to inflict myself on you, so--"

"Come on," Jared says, giving Jensen a nudge toward the front of the store. "Chad should be able to handle things for a while."

"You're leaving Chad in charge?" Jensen asks, somewhat alarmed. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"He's worked here longer than I have; I think he'll be okay. Besides, Samantha's in the back; she can handle any problems that come up."

Chad gives them a thumbs up when Jared tells him he's taking his lunch break. He also winks at Jensen as he's walking out the door, which Jensen is a little disturbed by. He tells Jared so.

"Everybody is a little bit disturbed by Chad," Jared says. "It's part of his charm."

"I think it's concerning that you think anything is part of Chad's _charm_."

"Charm may be the wrong word," Jared admits.

"I think we should stop trying to think of words to describe Chad while I'm on my lunch break," Jensen says. "Don't ruin the best part of my day."

"That is actually really sad." Jared stops to give Jensen a pitying look.

"Whatever," Jensen says, laughing. "Hurry up; you're going to make me late."

"I'm not doing anything," Jared protests.

"You're standing around making sad faces at me."

"Fine." Jared huffs and starts walking again. "Where are we even going?"

"To my car."

Jared pokes Jensen in the side. "After that, smartass."

"Somewhere quick," Jensen says. "I am seriously going to be late."

Jensen does end up getting back to work late, but he doesn't think Jim notices, and Jake's computer didn't kill him while Jensen was gone, so Jensen decides not to worry about it.

***

Jensen usually does his laundry on Sundays. He usually ends up doing half of Jared's laundry on Sundays too. It's not out of the kindness of his heart or anything, but because they've gotten into the habit of throwing all of their clothes into one big pile in the tiny little laundry room, and Jensen is honestly just too lazy to separate everything out.

Jensen throws a pair of socks at Jared's head and says, "Hey. Clean clothes are in the dryer."

Jared looks up from the book he's reading. "Thanks."

"Sure. You might want to buy some new underwear, though. There was an incident with the washer."

"An incident?" Jared asks, sounding like he's not sure he wants to know.

"Yeah. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but--actually, you might want to buy a new washer too."

Jared gives him a suspicious look. "Did you break my washer, Jensen?"

"I didn't touch it," Jensen protests. "Okay, well, obviously I touched it. But it broke itself. How do you even break a washer?"

"I don't know. You're the one who broke it; how did you do it?"

Jensen glares and wishes he had another pair of Jared's socks to throw. Jared sighs and puts his book down before standing up and walking down the hall into his room. He comes back a minute later with his keys in one hand, shoving his wallet into his pocket with the other.

"Where are you going?" Jensen asks.

"Where are _we_ going," Jared corrects. "Come on, put some shoes on. You owe me half of a washer."

Jensen sighs but finds his shoes and follows Jared out the door.

***

"Hey," Jared says casually one Friday night. "So, you're always complaining about your job."

"Um. Sorry?" Jensen looks at Jared questioningly, unsure of his point.

"No, I'm not--Melinda is moving back to Maine in like, less than a month, so Samantha's looking for a new accountant."

"I didn't even know y'all had an accountant."

"Yeah. Samantha used to take care of all that stuff, but she hired Melinda last year because she said it was getting to be too much. And she wanted to start taking some time off, so--" Jared shakes his head. "Okay, that's beside the point. We have an accountant, but she's leaving, so we need a new one."

"And--"

"I said I'd see if you were interested." Jared looks at Jensen uncertainly, like he thinks Jensen is going to be upset about this or something.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." Jared shrugs. "I mean, no pressure or anything. I just thought maybe you would be. I know you don't exactly enjoy your job."

"That's kind of an understatement," Jensen says, and Jared grins. Jensen bites his lip. "I don't know--"

"Come on," Jared says. "At least think about it? She said you could come by and talk to her if you want and she'll give you details or whatever."

Jensen sighs. "I guess it won't hurt to think about it."

"Exactly," Jared says, grinning.

It doesn't require a whole lot of thinking about. Jensen's frustrated with his job; he has been for a while, and it was never supposed to be a long term thing anyway. Jensen doesn't always do very well with change, but he figures that's not a good reason to pass up any opportunities.

A couple of hours later, they're sitting in front of the TV, feet kicked up on the coffee table and a half empty pizza box between them, when Jensen turns to Jared.

"Maybe tomorrow I'll stop by and talk to Samantha," he says.

Jared smiles. "I'll tell her to expect you."

***

Samantha greets Jensen with great enthusiasm when he stops by The Dog's Ear the next day. It's nothing he wasn't expecting. Jared's been working at the bookstore for almost four years, and Jensen's been in there enough to come to the conclusion that perpetual excitement is probably a requirement to be employed there.

"Would I have to be all perky all the time if I worked here?" Jensen asks after he's left Samantha in the back office and joined Jared behind the checkout counter.

"No," Jared says. "If that were the case, it would have been cruel of me to even tell you about the job. In fact, accountants are shunned here; they aren't allowed to be out here with actual customers."

Jensen attempts to look offended, but the way Jared looks at him says he isn't quite successful. "I could be perky," he protests.

Jared raises his eyebrows, but doesn't bother commenting. "So what do you think?"

"About what?"

Jared rolls his eyes. "About the job."

"It sounds really good, actually."

"Yeah? What did Samantha say?"

Jensen shrugs. "That she'll call me. She said she has a couple of interviews next week."

"Yeah. I think she'll choose you though," Jared says, confident. "Samantha likes you."

"She barely knows me."

"Maybe that's why she likes you." Jared laughs at Jensen's scowl. "She knows enough about you to at least have an opinion. Besides, she knows I recommended you, and I am the most awesome assistant manager ever. Of course she'll listen to me."

"Yeah."

"Dude, don’t worry about it. It'll be fine."

"I'm not worried," Jensen says, and he means it. He already has a job, so it's not like he's not going to be able to pay the bills if this one doesn't work out. It's surprisingly stress free to be waiting to hear about a job when he's not really depending on it. But still. Jared went and planted this idea in his head, and he can't deny he'll be disappointed if it doesn't work out.

"Okay," Jared says, sounding a little dubious.

"I'm serious." Jensen huffs. "I just don't want to get my hopes up because then it'll really suck when I'm stuck with Jim. Right now it's fine because I wasn't planning on leaving soon or anything."

"I get it," Jared says. "But even if this doesn't work out, I think you should consider looking into something else. You hate it there, man."

"I guess. And maybe I will, but I'll worry about that after next week, okay?"

"Sure," Jared agrees easily.

"All right, well I should get going," Jensen says. "I'll see you in a few hours?"

"Yeah, see you at home," Jared agrees.

***

Jensen is at the sink, dish soap up to his elbows, when he hears the door.

"Jensen?" Jared calls from the other room.

"In the kitchen," Jensen replies.

Jared comes into the kitchen and leans back against the counter at Jensen's side.

"This counter is all wet," he complains, making a face and wiggling around, like that's going to help the situation at all.

"I'm doing the dishes," Jensen says in explanation.

"I can see that." Jared snorts. "I swear, you make the biggest mess--"

"Yeah, well, at least I wash the dishes. Unlike some people who think styrofoam is a legitimate style of dinnerware." Jensen gives Jared a pointed look.

"Just because you don't like it doesn't make it illegitimate."

"You're hopeless," Jensen says. "Do you want something, or did you just come to complain about the way I clean, and cry because I make you use real plates?"

"I'm not crying," Jared says. "If my face is wet it's from all the water you're flinging everywhere."

Jensen rolls his eyes. "You're so dramatic." He tries to sound annoyed, but it doesn't really work.

"You're one to talk about dramatic," Jared says, laughing. "What are we doing tonight?"

"Don't have any plans that I know of," Jensen says, looking at Jared. "Why?"

"Just wondering. I don't really feel like going out."

Jensen shrugs. "Fine by me."

"We'll have to get something to eat though. We don't have anything here," Jared says. "And we'll have to go grocery shopping tomorrow." Jensen makes a face at the mention of grocery shopping, but Jared ignores him. "I'm going to order Chinese."

***

Jensen is not a big fan of grocery shopping. There are crazy people at the grocery store who can't control their children or their shopping carts--Jensen is sincerely distressed that these people more than likely drive actual vehicles too.

Jensen watches a man walk past them; he's distractedly pushing his overflowing cart with one hand and dragging a screaming child with the other. "We should start ordering our groceries online and getting them delivered," Jensen says.

"People do that?" Jared asks, looking curious.

"Yes, people do that. And there's a good reason for it. Did you see those women fighting over that pineapple?"

Jared makes an affirmative noise. "I don't know if I'd call that a fight though; they seemed pretty civil. Passionate dispute, maybe."

"There are, like, hundreds of pineapples over there. Why are they having a passionate dispute over that one? This is ridiculous."

"You're ridiculous," Jared says. "And you should be thankful to me for always making you come grocery shopping; you would have starved to death years ago if it weren't for me."

"A true friend would not risk my life by bringing me to this place," Jensen says, biting the inside of his lip in attempt to keep a straight face as Jared laughs.

"Come on." Jared tosses a box of something or other into their cart. "You're wasting time having this melodramatic fit."

"I'm not having a melodramatic fit." Jensen sighs. "But yes, let's hurry it up a little. And we're buying real cereal, I'm sick of that cardboard shit."

"That sounds disgusting."

"It is disgusting; that's why we're not buying it."

***

Even though Jared says he shouldn't be, Jensen is a bit surprised when Samantha calls him on Wednesday to ask him when he can start working at the bookstore. He gives his notice the next day, and Jim doesn't seem concerned. But Jim is never concerned about anything unless it involves things that are lost in his computer, so Jensen isn't surprised.

"You have to tell Jake, though" Jim says. "You'll have to show him how to do--well, whatever it is you do."

Jensen nods, and he manages not to laugh at all, even if he really, really wants to.

Jake does not disappoint Jensen with his panicked reaction to the news that Jensen is leaving.

"I don't want a promotion," he says. "Can they force me to take a promotion?"

"It's not even a promotion," Jensen argues. "We technically have the same job title."

"Seriously?" Jake looks at Jensen, his eyes wide with disbelief.

"Seriously," Jensen says, nodding in understanding because yeah, sometimes he forgets that too.

"Do you think I could get a demotion?" Jake seems completely serious, and--not for the first time--Jensen wonders how Jake's managed to hang on to his job for this long.

"I don't know, man. You'll have to talk to Jim about it. But you should probably do that now, if you're going to, because I'm supposed to be showing you how to handle everything on your own."

Jake is up and gone from his desk, headed straight toward Jim's office, before Jensen can blink.

Two days later Jim hires a woman named Allison to take Jensen's place. She knows what she's doing and picks up the system they're using quickly, and Jensen thinks she'll do great as long she has more patience than he does.

***

"I can't believe you're leaving me here," Katie says on Jensen's last day. Jensen is technically supposed to be monitoring Allison, but she has everything under control, so he's pestering Katie instead.

"I'm sorry."

"You're not," she argues, but she doesn't really sound upset.

"Maybe not," Jensen concedes.

Katie laughs. "Allison seems nice, though."

"She does," Jensen agrees. "I hope she knows what she's getting into."

Katie hums in agreement. "She has been here for two weeks already."

"True."

Katie bites her lip and looks up at Jensen. "So you're going to be working with Jared."

"Yeah."

"You spend a lot of time with him already."

"Yeah," Jensen says again, slowly.

"Don't you think you'll get sick of being around him so much or something?"

Jensen shrugs. "Not really. Besides, we're barely going to be working together," he says. "We won't have all the same shifts or anything, and he doesn't spend much time in the office anyway."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Nothing," she says innocently. Jensen frowns at her, and she rolls her eyes. "I'd get sick of you if I had to work with you and live with you."

"Well I guess it's a good thing you're not Jared then, isn't it?"

***

When Jensen gets home that night, he's exhausted but also relieved enough to finally be rid of the place for good that he isn't quite sure what to do with himself. He keeps finding himself smiling without meaning to.

"Hey," Jared says as Jensen sits down next to him on the couch. "You look like you're in a good mood."

"I guess." Jensen shrugs, but he's grinning, and Jared rolls his eyes at him.

"You know you are. You just don’t want to admit it because then you'd also have to admit that I am an awesome genius, and you will be forever in my debt since I rescued you from wasting your life away at that place."

Jensen raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, that's totally it."

"I knew it." Jared nods, satisfied.

Jensen snorts, shaking his head. "Whatever."

Jared reaches out and pokes Jensen in the side. "Seriously though, I'm glad you're getting out of there."

"Yeah. Thanks," Jensen says, nodding and not knowing what else to say. They sit in silence for a few moments before Jared nudges him with his knee.

"We should celebrate."

Jared's idea of celebrating turns out to mostly just involve a lot of alcohol, which Jensen doesn't exactly have a problem with. At some point that is probably in the early hours of the morning, he finds himself sprawled out on the living room floor with Jared spread out less than a foot away from him.

"What movie are we watching?" Jared asks.

"I'm not watching a movie," Jensen says.

"There's a movie on."

Jensen squints at the TV for a minute before giving up. "I don't know. I think there's a giraffe."

"I like giraffes," Jared says solemnly.

"Giraffes are really tall," Jensen observes.

"They are," Jared agrees. "And they have really long tongues." Jensen nods his head and listens as Jared begins listing random facts about giraffes he probably learned from Animal Planet.

Jensen passes out shortly after that and wakes up sometime the next day to find himself drooling on Jared. It's pretty gross, and Jensen thinks he should move immediately, but it's a few minutes before he decides he can get up without dying. Jensen stumbles into the bathroom, and Jared is still stretched out on the floor when he comes back into the room. Jensen nudges him in the ribs with his toe because he thinks he should at least make sure he's alive or whatever. Jared makes a miserable little noise, and Jensen figures that's as much as he really should have hoped for.

***

Work keeps Jensen fairly busy his first week at the bookstore. Melinda keeps things neat and organized, which Jensen is grateful for, but it does mean he has a lot to learn and keep up with. He's not complaining; he's pretty excited to be working at The Dog's Ear. He doesn't have anyone else in his department to keep out of trouble or convince to work, and he doesn't have to waste his time on pointless busy work. But by Friday evening when Melinda has officially served her last day and departed all of her knowledge to Jensen, he is completely exhausted and wants nothing more than to go home, eat, and go to bed. He's not even all that picky about which order he does those things in.

Jared is on the phone when Jensen gets home, and he doesn't look too happy about it.

"No, really. You don't have to do that," he says, frowning.

Jensen sits down on the couch next to Jared and raises an eyebrow at him in question as he points to the phone. Jared makes a face and rolls his eyes.

"Mom," Jared says, half to Jensen and half into the phone. Jensen nods, and Jared continues talking. "Nobody wants to be set up at someone else's wedding; besides, where does this guy even live? Is--oh. He lives in Dallas. Yeah, that's convenient, but--" Jared bites his lip as his mom clearly cuts him off, and Jensen watches with interest.

"I don't care if Carla's mom thinks we would make a cute couple. Isn't this guy going to be my cousin-in-law or something? That's kind of gross," Jared says; he gives Jensen a dirty look when he catches him smirking.

"It is too a real thing!" Jared sounds affronted, and he attempts to glare in the general direction of his phone. Jensen bites his lip, trying not to laugh. Jared turns his glare on him.

"I am not just being stubborn; I--" Jared glances around the room a little desperately; he seems to be looking for some excuse to appear and get him out of this date his mom's apparently trying to set him up on. Suddenly, his eyes light up. "I have a boyfriend," he says, sounding almost victorious.

Jensen gives Jared a dubious look; he most definitely does not have a boyfriend. Jared shrugs at him a little helplessly.

"What? It's not a secret--of course I know that, Mom. It never came up. Yes, I could have mentioned it at the beginning of this conversation, I guess."

Jensen isn't bothering to try to hide his amusement at this point; he stares at Jared and can't help laughing a little when Jared pouts at him dramatically.

Jared gives him a light kick to the shin. "Jensen," he says, admonishing, and then his eyes widen as Sharon repeats his name loud enough for Jensen to hear.

"What? Oh, no, I didn't mean--" Jared shakes his head furiously as if doing it hard enough will allow Sharon to see it through the phone. "Mom, wait--" Jared stops, making a frustrated noise, and jerks his phone away from his ear, thumbing it off and carelessly tossing it onto the coffee table.

Jared stares at Jensen, looking slightly confused. Jensen stares back.

"What just happened?" Jensen asks finally, suspicious.

Jared purses his lips a little before answering. "I think I accidentally told my mom you're my boyfriend."

"I think you have somehow gotten the wrong impression about our relationship," Jensen says gravely, managing not to laugh as he gives Jared an exaggerated concerned look.

Jared snorts. "Shut up, asshole. I'm not even sure how this happened."

"Well, try to figure it out," Jensen says, amusement lacing his voice. "Because this is something I've got to hear."

Jared sighs, running a hand through his hair. "She was trying to get me to go on a date with my cousin Matt's fiancée's cousin, and I said I didn't want to. So she said I was being dramatic and stubborn and had no reason not to just go on one date with the guy to make Carla's--that's Matt's fiancée--mom happy, so I said--"

"That you had a boyfriend," Jensen says. "Yeah, I heard that part. And then she thought you were talking to her when you were talking to me, and--"

"Exactly. Then she said she'd have to call me back because she's at the dentist's and hung up before I could explain." He sighs again. "It all happened so fast."

Jensen hums. "And why exactly is she trying to force you to go out with this guy?"

Jared huffs. "She said it was a favor to Carla's mom. But she also said something about how handsome Mark is and how I never date anyone and I should get out more. I think she's trying to get me married off while I'm still young."

Jensen snorts. "This is kind of hilarious."

"It's not," Jared says, sounding miserable. "Now I'll have to tell her the truth when she calls back, and she'll make me go on _two_ dates with Mark just as punishment."

"You're gonna be twenty-four in a few weeks; your mom can't make you do anything."

Jared stares at Jensen. "You know my mom better than that," he says.

"You have a point," Jensen admits; it isn't easy to say no to Sharon Padalecki. Jensen shrugs when Jared sighs again. "So just don't tell her."

"What?" Jared scrunches his face up like he doesn't understand.

"I mean, you can tell her the truth if you want. But I don't mind if you use me to get out of a semi-incestuous date with Mark," Jensen says.

"Seriously?"

"Sure. It's not that big of a deal, is it?"

"No, I guess not," Jared says; he chews on his lip for a second, clearly thinking. "My mom probably wouldn't believe me anyway. Who accidentally says they're dating someone they're not?

Jensen raises his eyebrows. "You. Apparently."

"Apparently," Jared agrees, laughing a little. "Honestly though, thanks."

"No problem."

***

Jensen wasn't wrong when he told Katie it wouldn't really be like he and Jared were working together. Neither of them has a fixed schedule--which Jensen thinks is kind of weird but may make work less monotonous--so how often they work together varies, but even when they do have the same schedule, they don't see each other much. Jensen spends most of his time in the office in the back while Jared spends almost every minute he's at work in the store with customers. Jensen is sure that, as assistant manger, Jared has more responsibilities than that, but he hasn't figured out what they are yet. He must do everything else when Jensen's not around.

Occasionally, when Jensen is taking a mandatory break at Samantha's insistence and the store is not too crowded, Jensen will venture out to see what Jared is doing. This time he's toward the back of the store, leaning against a bookshelf and reading a book.

"Don't you ever do any real work?"

Jared looks up at Jensen. "I do lots of work," he says. "You just missed it. Now I'm taking a break."

"Yeah, me too. I have to keep my eyes from shriveling up or my hand from falling off--whatever horrible thing it is Samantha's afraid is going to happen to me if I don't take regular breaks from the computer."

"Right." Jared grins. "She took some class about hazards in the workplace a couple of years ago, said it was like a horror movie. She's pretty serious about that stuff now."

"I noticed," Jensen says. "I can't complain though; it's not exactly a hardship to get paid to stand around for a few minutes."

"Definitely not," Jared agrees. "So what brings you out here? You miss me?"

"Never." Jensen feigns disgust, and Jared scowls. "I thought it may be marginally less boring coming out here than sitting back there and staring at the wall."

"You are too kind to me, Jensen."

"You know it," Jensen says. "No, it really is boring back there. And Samantha had to make a phone call; I felt like I was eavesdropping staying in there when I wasn't working."

"You should always eavesdrop on Samantha's calls," Jared says. "You can find out some interesting things about her that way."

Jensen shakes his head. "I don't even want to know. You have really questionable morals, you know that?"

"I do not," Jared says, sounding dismayed. "She totally does it on purpose to try to shock people. Adrianne still blushes every time she hears Samantha talk about progress reports."

"Why?"

Jared shrugs. "No idea; she won't tell anyone."

"Right," Jensen says before glancing at his watch. "Well, on that slightly disturbing note, I have to get back to work. Hopefully Samantha's off the phone by now."

"Good luck," Jared says as Jensen walks away.

***

The worst thing about Jensen's job is that he has to work with Chad. Which sounds dramatic, but Jensen figures it's okay because almost everything involving Chad also involves drama. Jensen doesn't know Chad that well; he's always just been Jared's strange friend from work who he occasionally has the misfortune of spending time with. He's probably not a bad person or anything; he is pretty friendly, but it's mostly in an unfortunately loud and obnoxious way. The guy could talk nonstop about anything for as long as you'd let him; Jensen once listened to him discuss the merits of waxed dental floss for nearly an hour. Apparently Chad's back teeth are extremely close together, and the regular kind gets stuck easily and falls apart, so he had to buy waxed floss to get the other floss out, and--Jensen doesn't care about what kind of floss Chad uses or why; the point is that Chad is exhausting, and Jensen can think of a million things he'd rather do than be cooped up in a small office with him.

Jensen doesn't often see any of the other people he works with. Almost everyone else spends most of their time out in the store, and when Jensen does venture out it's usually to talk to Jared. Chad is a cashier clerk; Jensen figures it should go without saying that he is supposed to be in the store helping customers at the checkout counter. So Jensen doesn't know how he ends up seeing so much of Chad, but it seems like they're always working at the same time--which Jared may be doing on purpose when he makes the schedule; Jensen has considered it, but he doesn't think Jared is that cruel--and Chad somehow ends up spending half the time he's working in the back office pestering Samantha and, when she's not around, Jensen. If Jensen hadn't seen the numbers to prove the bookstore is a fairly successful business, he'd wonder if anyone ever did any work.

"So she says I have no ambition, right?" Chad is twirling around in Samantha's desk chair; he's been talking for at least fifteen minutes, and Jensen honestly has no idea what he's been saying.

"And I say, no way. It is my life's ambition to get by doing the least amount possible. Sure, you might call it lazy, but which guy is really successful--the one who wastes his entire life working all the time or the one who doesn't? Seriously, think about it." He pauses. "Are you thinking about it?"

"What?" Jensen turns, blinking at Chad.

"Are you thinking about it?" Chad asks again.

"Oh, sure," Jensen says, turning back to his computer screen.

"I knew you'd agree," Chad says triumphantly. "Kenzie doesn't get it though. I explained it to her and everything, but she just gave me that look, you know the one, right? Like, squinty eyes, pursed lips." Chad pauses again, and Jensen glances at him. He's squinting, lips pursed, and Jensen refrains from saying that no, actually, he's never seen anybody make a face quite like that, and he hopes he never has to see it again either.

"Right," Jensen says when it becomes clear that Chad is going to continue making this face until Jensen comments on it.

Chad nods. "So she looks at me like that, and then she starts slowly shaking her head, all ominous like." Chad shakes his head in what Jensen assumes is supposed to be an ominous way. "And that was before all the yelling, of course, but it's totally when I realized she was going to kick me out."

"Oh," Jensen says. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, what can you do, right?" Chad shrugs. "She'll come around."

"I'm sure," Jensen says, even though he's not.

"Exactly. I'm just glad you guys are going to let me crash on your couch until then; the guy I usually stay with just moved in with his mom. What a loser, right?"

"Sure," Jensen says absently. "Wait, what?" He looks up when he realizes what Chad has said.

"Yeah. I mean, who lives with their _mom_?" Chad asks, shaking his head in dismay.

"No, not that part. The part about the couch," Jensen clarifies.

"Oh. Didn't Jared tell you? He said it was cool if I stayed with y'all for a few days."

"No," Jensen says, and he hopes his voice doesn't sound as desolate as he feels. "I guess he forgot to mention it."

"I guess so," Chad agrees, frowning and shrugging.

Jensen calls Jared as soon as Chad is out of the room. "Chad is staying with us?"

"Um," Jared says. "I was going to talk to you about it on your lunch break. He just called me this morning."

"Seriously, Chad?" Jensen knows he is probably whining, but he can't find it in himself to care. Jensen always feels kind of awkward with guests around, like he's not quite sure how to act with someone invading his home. The fact that it's Chad simply makes it worse; Jensen doesn't especially want to find out what it's like to be around him constantly, night and day.

"I know. But he doesn't have anywhere else to go." Jensen can practically hear Jared's pout. "It'll only be for a few days. He and Kenzie break up all the time; it never lasts long."

"Jared--"

"Please? I can't make him live in the streets."

Jensen rolls his eyes and sighs. "Fine."

"Thanks, Jensen. Really."

***

Jared has enchiladas in the oven when Jensen gets home, and it isn't necessary for Jared to bribe him with his favorite dinner when he's already said he was fine with Chad sleeping on their couch, but Jensen appreciates it all the same. He mostly doesn't even mind that he has to eat dinner with Chad.

"So, what are your plans for tonight?" Chad asks after he's done eating.

"No plans," Jared says. Jensen shakes his head when Chad looks questioningly at him.

"Fuck, you guys are boring," Chad complains, and he flops back in his chair, looking disappointed.

"I am not boring," Jensen says.

"You're not," Jared agrees.

Chad snorts and rolls his eyes. "You only think that because you're just as boring as him," he insists. "We should go to this party my friend's having while his mom's out of town."

Jensen stares at Chad. "Is your friend in high school?" he asks suspiciously.

"What? No," Chad says, looking bewildered. "You some kind of creep, Ackles?"

"What?" Jensen gapes at Chad. He must look as offended as he feels because Chad raises his hands in defense.

"I was only asking."

"You're the one who has friends who throw parties when their parents are out of town," Jensen says.

"I told you he was a loser already, man." Chad says. Jensen opens his mouth to comment on the irony in Chad calling someone else a loser, but Jared speaks up before he can.

"We'll go to your friend's party," he says. He sounds like he's trying not to laugh, and Jensen scowls at him. "Dude, come on," Jared says, nudging Jensen's foot with is own. "How bad can it be?"

***

"This is really, really bad," Jensen says, taking in the chaos around him. The place is crowded with people; most of them appear to be completely wasted, not that Jensen's surprised. It's the other stuff making him wary. Someone's sitting on the floor in front of the couch, trying to glue the coffee table back together; it's in at least eight pieces, though, so Jensen thinks it's a mostly useless endeavor. And it looks like someone is--yeah, someone is definitely spray painting something on one of the walls; that is actually happening right now. Jensen went to his fair share of parties in college, and none of them were ever as wild as this, at least not that he can remember. But now he's standing in some idiot's parents' living room, watching it get trashed; Jensen does not want to be here when they get home.

Jensen jumps as he hears something shatter near by, and he bumps into Jared, who has stepped in closer to Jensen like he's afraid he'll get swept up into the mass of people around them. "This is really bad," Jensen says again, talking loudly so Jared can hear him.

"Yeah. I think Chad may have accidentally invited us to an orgy." Jared looks uncertainly at the group of nearly naked women in the corner.

Jensen shakes his head. "I don't think it was an accident," he says, pointing to where Chad is across the room. He's lost his shirt and his shoes and is fumbling with his belt.

"I'm sorry," Jared says.

"We're never doing anything Chad suggests ever again," Jensen says sternly.

"I promise," Jared agrees. "We should go get Chad before he ends up fully naked."

"Definitely."

Chad does not come willingly, but Jared insists they cannot leave him there even if Jensen does find the idea tempting.

"You'd feel bad about it tomorrow," he says, but Jensen isn't so sure.

"It was his idea to come to an orgy."

"It's not an orgy, you fucking prudes. It's called freedom of expression." Chad glares as Jared and Jensen drag him out the door.

"What exactly were you trying to express?" Jensen asks, but then he thinks better of it. "No, wait. Please don't answer that."

If possible, Chad's glare becomes more severe. "Where is my shirt?"

"You lost it," Jared tells him.

"How did you get so drunk, anyway?" Jensen asks as he helps Jared maneuver Chad into the backseat of his car. "We were there for maybe ten minutes."

"I'm not drunk," Chad protests, flailing wildly for no apparent reason. Jensen thinks maybe he's trying to prove his point by using enthusiastic hand gestures. It isn't really working.

Getting Chad out of the car and into Jared and Jensen's apartment building is not an easy task, and Jensen takes a moment to silently thank whoever invented the elevator. By some miracle they manage to get Chad to the couch before he passes out.

"That guy is unbelievable," Jensen says, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," Jared says.

Jensen shrugs. "Don't worry about it. I think I'm gonna head to bed though; I've had enough excitement for one night."

"Yeah, me too," Jared agrees. "Good night."

***

Jensen is woken up a few hours later by somebody climbing into bed with him.

"Chad, if that's you, you need to get your drunk ass out of my bed," he mumbles.

"It's me," Jared says quietly. "Chad is in _my_ bed. Naked."

Jensen laughs, startled. "What?"

"I don't know; I think he was sleepwalking. I mean, I hope he was sleepwalking and not trying to seduce me or something." Jensen laughs harder, and Jared huffs and nudges Jensen to one side of the bed to make room for himself. "Shut up," Jared says. "Go back to sleep."

***

When Jensen wakes up again, it's morning, and his room is dimly lit by the sun filtering in through his thick curtains. He's still half asleep, and that's his excuse for not realizing his entire body is pressed up against Jared's and he can feel Jared's breath huffing out against his neck. Jensen squirms a little, but the arm Jared has around him just tightens. Jensen briefly considers putting up a struggle, but it's too early to get up, he's exhausted, and it's simply not worth the effort.

***

Jensen finally wakes up for real around ten, and this time he's alone. He stumbles into the kitchen after stopping off in the bathroom.

"Something smells good," he says, leaning up against the counter next to Jared where he's standing at the stove.

"Pancakes," Jared says, pointing to the stack of them on a plate on the other side of him.

Jensen raises his eyebrows. "You know you don't have to keep making me all this food, right? I mean, not that I'm complaining or anything, but if I didn't kick Chad out after last night, then I think you're okay."

Jared snorts. "I'm not doing this to bribe you. I like to cook, you know that. Besides, I fully intend to eat more than my share."

"Okay," Jensen agrees easily as he moves across the kitchen to get the butter and the syrup.

They've just sat down to eat when Jensen hears Chad shuffling toward the kitchen. Jensen closes his eyes. "Is he naked?" he asks.

"Um, no," Jared says. "But thanks for letting me be the one to look."

"Anytime," Jensen says as he opens his eyes.

"I wouldn't come out here naked," Chad says, looking appalled, and he grabs some pancakes for himself and sits down at the table.

"Don't sound so shocked," Jared says, dragging a bit of pancake through the puddle of syrup on his plate. "I didn't think you'd go climbing into people's beds naked either."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Chad says. "I'm not sure how that happened."

"It's okay," Jared tells him. "Just, uh, try not to do it again. Please."

"Okay," Chad agrees. "I'll try." Jensen doesn't think that sounds too reassuring, and judging by the look on Jared's face, he's not very reassured either. The chances of Chad getting exceedingly drunk again are probably rather high, after all.

"Aren't you hung over at all?" Jensen asks.

Chad purses his lips, and Jensen can practically hear him thinking. "Not really," he says after a moment, then shrugs and shoves half a rolled up pancake in his mouth.

"I don't know if I should be amazed by you or disturbed," Jensen says. Chad beams, looking proud. Jensen is not even surprised.

"I don't think that was a compliment," Jared says.

"It wasn't," Jensen confirms. Chad shrugs again, and Jensen gets up, putting his plate in the sink and gathering up all of the other dishes Jared used to make breakfast.

"You should make Chad do the dishes," Jared says helpfully.

"I'm a guest!" Chad squawks.

"You're a menace," Jensen says, turning on the tap to fill up the sink. "And I don't trust you with the dishes."

Chad doesn't even have the good sense to be offended.

***

"Hey," Jared says a few days later at lunch. "My mom is probably going to call you and try to talk you into going to Matt's wedding."

Jensen looks up from his sandwich. "What? Why? I don't even know him."

"Yeah, but she wants you to go as my date. She thinks we're dating, remember?"

"No, I forgot," Jensen says, rolling his eyes and flicking his wadded up straw package at Jared.

Jared huffs. "Anyway, I told her you were busy, and she said I had to check and make sure. So I said I didn't need to check and make sure because I already knew. Then she said she'd just call you herself."

"What am I supposed to tell her?"

"I have no idea," Jared says. "But I thought I should warn you."

"Yeah," Jensen says. "Thanks. I'll figure something out."

***

Sharon does call Jensen that night. Jensen's planning to tell her he'll be busy helping a friend the weekend of the wedding and hope she doesn't ask for any specific details. The thing is, though, Jensen may make fun of Jared for being unable to say no to his mom, but he's not the only one affected by her that way. Jensen has known Sharon Padalecki for more than five years, and he's never been able to say no to her. For some reason she just has that effect on him. So he isn't all that surprised when he ends up talking to her for less than fifteen minutes before he finds himself saying, "Yeah, actually, it turns out I can go to Matt's wedding after all; I guess I'll see you then."

***

"You told her what?" Jared asks, both eyebrows raised, as he turns from his desk to look at Jensen.

"I don't know what happened," Jensen says, crossing his arms defensively where he sits on the edge of Jared's bed.

"And you laugh at _me_ ," Jared says. "She's not even your mom."

"I know." Jensen sighs. "I don't know what happened," he says again.

Jared shakes his head. "She has some sort of evil powers," he says decisively. "I always knew it."

"She doesn't have evil powers, dork." Jensen winces and shoves Jared away when he flicks Jensen's knee. Jared's chair rolls back several inches before he catches himself on the edge of his desk.

"I'm not a dork."

"Whatever you say," Jensen agrees. "Can we get back to the matter at hand here? I have to go to your cousin's wedding now."

"Hey, you're the one who answered the phone without a properly prepared excuse. You should have known better than that."

"I did know better that that," Jensen says. "I don't know what happened."

"Yeah, I think you said that already." Jared laughs when Jensen glares at him. "Dude, it's just a wedding. It's not that bad, is it?"

"I guess not," Jensen says. "Unless you don't want me to go?"

Jared makes a face. "Why would I not want you to go?"

Jensen shrugs. "I don't know."

"Well, whatever. It'll probably be less boring with you there, anyway."

"All right," Jensen says.

"You'll go?"

"Sure. I could use a vacation anyway, I guess."

"Awesome," Jared says, smiling.

***

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Katie asks the next time Jensen sees her. They're at some shoe store; Jensen stopped paying attention to the names after the third one. Katie apparently leads a busy life and must fit two activities--shoe shopping and visiting with Jensen--into one afternoon. Jensen doesn't mind; it's amusing to watch her try on every pair of blue or purple high heels that may possibly go with her dress and then scowl at them when they pinch her toes or--do whatever it is ill-fitting high heels do.

Jensen frowns at her as she holds another pair of shoes up to her dress and squints at them. "Why are you questioning everything I do lately?"

"I'm sorry," she says, glancing at him. "I don't mean to be questioning you about everything, but. Have you thought about this?"

"I haven't spent too much time thinking about it, no," Jensen admits. "But I don't see what the problem is." Katie raises an eyebrow. "Okay, no, I get it. It's kind of weird, but--it's not really going to hurt anybody."

"It's _Jared_ ," Katie says, like that explains everything. It doesn't explain anything as far as Jensen is concerned.

Jensen shakes his head. "I know who it is," he says. "I honestly have no clue what you're getting at here."

"Really?"

Jensen would be annoyed, but Katie sounds genuinely curious. "Really. Do you want to clue me in maybe?"

"It's nothing, I guess," she says, shrugging. "Just, be careful, okay?"

"Okay," Jensen says slowly. "That doesn't sound ominous at all."

"Sorry." Katie laughs. "I didn't mean to be weird."

"Don't worry about it; I've gotten used to you being weird." Jensen grins at her.

"Thanks," she says, rolling her eyes as she sits down on a bench to try on her shoes. "Hey, speaking of weird, I have to tell you what Jake did the other day."

Jensen snorts. "Wow, random much?"

Katie ignores him. "I thought Jim was going to fire him for a second," she says, and Jensen gives her a dubious look but lets her change the subject.

***

Jared makes up the new work schedule, and Jensen sees that he and Chad hardly have any shifts scheduled at the same time the next couple of weeks; they only have a few hours together where their shifts overlap. Jensen is sure Jared did that on purpose to give Jensen a reprieve from the guy before he ends up killing him. Jensen is grateful, even if he is a little worried about what Chad may get up to in their apartment when they're both at work. He tells Jared as much when he's in the office using Samantha's desk to get some paperwork done.

"He's not that bad," Jared says. "What do you think he's going to do?"

Jensen shoots Jared a doubtful look. "I don't know. But I like to think Chad is better at coming up with unbelievable ways of destroying everything around him than I am."

"He probably is," Jared says. "I mean, I'm sure he is," he amends at Jensen's scowl. "But he does manage to act like an adult at least most of the time, you know. I'm sure everything's fine."

"I hope so." Jensen sighs.

Jared laughs. "You sound so gloomy."

"Maybe Chad makes me feel gloomy."

"He clearly does," Jared agrees.

"Sorry."

"Nah, don't worry about it," Jared says. "Hey, what time is it?"

"About one," Jensen says, glancing at the clock.

"Want to go get some lunch?" Jared asks as he stands up and stretches.

"Where?"

Jared shrugs. "We could go to that sandwich shop down the street. Henry's?"

Jensen grimaces. "That place gave me food poisoning."

"It did not," Jared protests.

"I'm pretty sure it did."

"I'm pretty sure you gave yourself food poisoning," Jared says.

Jensen glares at Jared. "Are we going to have to have this whole argument again?"

"We can," Jared says. "We can spend our entire lunch break fighting about your absolute lack of skill in the kitchen. Or we can eat somewhere else."

"I'm never eating at Henry's again," Jensen declares resolutely.

"Okay. I'll be sure to tell Henry that the next time I buy your lunch there and tell you it came from the place three blocks over."

"You didn't," Jensen says, horrified. "You could have killed me, you sneaky bastard."

"You're a little bit paranoid. Can we please go now?"

"I shouldn't go anywhere with you, you're obviously a hazard to my health," Jensen says, but he gets up and follows Jared out the door.

***

Chad doesn't turn out to be as bad of a houseguest as Jensen was afraid. Jared was right when he said he didn't think Chad would destroy their apartment while they were at work; he's managed to keep his mess mostly contained to the area around the couch and the coffee table, and Jensen figures that's all they could have realistically hoped for. He does stay up half the night sometimes, but he's generally quiet about it. He still talks incessantly the rest of the time, though; Jensen swears his ears are starting to buzz from the constant chatter, and if he has to hear about the time Chad stayed with his grandparents out in the country when he was eight and kidnapped a chicken in an attempt to save it from being eaten--a story he tells every time anyone eats chicken in front of him--one more time, Jensen may strangle him.

Jensen piles Chad's crap up haphazardly so nobody accidentally trips over it and thinks about what a great friend Jared is for making Chad be at work right now.

"Five whole hours until Chad gets off work," Jared says, obviously thinking along the same lines as Jensen.

"I know. Thanks for that, by the way." Jensen can never fully relax with Chad around; he's grateful for the few hours he gets.

"Hey," Jared says, "I don't really want to have to be around him all day either."

"Has he said anything to you about how much longer he's going to be here? Has he even talked to his girlfriend?"

"He said she's warming up to him and he should be out of our hair in no time. I have no idea if that's true or if it's Chad being overly optimistic about his situation again. He tends to do that."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Jensen asks.

"Because anybody who's met Chad wouldn't be surprised by that?" Jared shrugs. "At least we'll get away from him next weekend, with the wedding and everything."

"Hey, that's right," Jensen says. "I guess it's a good thing I got tricked into that after all. Can you imagine if I was here with him alone for three days?" Jensen doesn't even want to imagine it; he figures Jared would come home to at least one dead body though.

Jared grimaces, seemingly imagining a similar situation. "Yeah, that sounds unpleasant."

"What if he has a party here while we're gone or something?" Jensen asks, horrified by the sudden thought.

"We'll tell him it's not allowed," Jared says. "And we'll remind him. Many times. And leave notes. A lot of them."

"Okay," Jensen says. "And we'll just hope that doesn't put the idea in his head, right?"

"Right."

***

It ends up they don't have to worry about Chad after all. A couple of days later, Jensen comes home to find Chad packing his bags.

"You're leaving?" Jensen asks, and it comes out sounding hopeful.

"Yup," Chad says. "Kenzie says she misses me and wants me to come back home."

"That's great," Jensen says enthusiastically. He almost feels bad about inflicting Chad on somebody else, but he figures she knows what she's getting herself into.

"Thanks," Chad says, surprising Jensen by throwing himself at Jensen and wrapping his arms around him.

"Um, you're welcome," Jensen says, awkwardly patting Chad on the back. Chad pulls away and turns to hug Jared.

"I couldn't have gotten through this without you guys," Chad says, sniffling a little.

"No problem," Jared says. Jensen focuses very hard on keeping a friendly, concerned look on his face.

Chad pulls back from Jared and looks around. "Well, I guess I should be going," he says, sounding almost sad about it.

"Okay," Jared says. "We'll see you at work, right?"

Chad nods, gathering up his things. "Yeah, I'll see you guys later."

Jensen turns to Jared once Chad is gone. "Now I feel like I should be nicer to him. Like, take his weird stories seriously--or at least listen to them sometimes."

"I'm sure he'll be okay," Jared says. "He just gets emotional sometimes. And I'm not sure he even realizes you're ignoring him most of the time."

"I think that actually makes it worse." Jensen watches warily as Jared shrugs and spreads himself out on the couch. "What are you doing?"

"I missed the couch," Jared says, practically snuggling with the thing.

"You're weird. Also, Chad has basically been living there for like three weeks. Who knows what he's done to that couch?"

"You're being dramatic," Jared says, but he sits up and looks at the couch kind of doubtfully, and Jensen laughs. Jared sighs and adds, "You're also a terrible person."

***

Jensen is glad he and Jared have the place back to themselves; he can fully relax for the first time in weeks. He's lounging on the--recently disinfected, just in case--couch, enjoying how peacefully quiet it is, when Jared comes flying into the room with wide eyes.

He stops in front of Jensen, flinging his arms out at his sides. "We don't have a gift!"

"What?"

"A gift for Matt and Carla," Jared says, looking at Jensen like he's an idiot. "We forgot to get them a wedding gift."

Jensen purses his lips. "We forgot? I think you mean _you_ forgot. Also, why the panic attack?"

"People will judge us based on our gift, Jensen."

"Who do you think this gift is for? Your own family is not going to judge you based on a gift, dude," Jensen says.

"They might--"

"They're not going to judge me either," Jensen adds before Jared can say it.

Jared frowns. "We have to get an amazing gift so everyone will think we're awesome."

Jensen sighs, rolling his eyes. "You need to lower your expectations first of all. The wedding is in less than a week; settle for getting a gift good enough that everyone doesn't think you're a total loser."

"You're not helping," Jared says, glaring.

"Oh, come on then," Jensen says, nearly bumping into Jared as he stands up. "Let's go find your freaking amazing gift."

They go to Bed Bath and Beyond--

"They have everything," Jared says. "It's right there in the name."

\--and Jared ends up buying some kitchen appliance that Jensen can't figure out. Jensen also can't figure out why Jared needs Jensen to follow him through the store and agree with everything he says, but Jared seems happy enough about it that Jensen decides not to bother trying to make sense of it.

***

Jared's birthday is a few days later. Samantha doesn't usually make anyone work on their birthday, but Jared does since he's going to have three days in a row off for the wedding later in the week. In reality, Samantha probably would have let him get away with scheduling himself off on his birthday and using an extra vacation day for the weekend, but Jared said being able to sit around his apartment not working all day wasn't important enough to bother putting stress on anybody else.

Adrianne's on her lunch break, and it's a slow day at work for Jensen, so he's hanging out with Jared behind the checkout counter when Chad comes in. He's got a white box with him, and he puts it down on the counter in front of Jared.

"Happy birthday," he says, gesturing at the box.

Jared grins. "Thanks, man. You didn't need to get me anything."

"It's just a cake. And I knew you had to work today and figured that kind of sucks when nobody else ever has to. It's also kind of a thank you for letting me crash with you for a while, so you have to share it with Jensen." Chad looks at Jensen. "Happy--whatever," he says, shrugging.

"Thank you," Jensen says sincerely; it's actually a nice gesture. He leans against the counter as Jared slides the lid off the box.

Chad holds up a hand. "Wait, you may want to--"

"This cake is shaped like boobs," Jared says as he fumbles to put the lid back on before any customers catch sight of it. Jensen holds his laughter in and attempts to smile charmingly at the woman who gives them a displeased look from where she's standing a few feet away.

"They were out of dicks," Chad says, sounding genuinely contrite. "Apparently you're supposed to order these things in advance or you have to pick from what they've already got. I thought you'd like this one better than the--"

"Thanks, Chad," Jensen says quickly, cutting Chad off before he has a chance to say any more inappropriate things. "I'm sure you're right."

"Yeah," Jared agrees. "It was very thoughtful of you. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Adrianne walks in the door then, and Jensen figures more time has passed than he'd realized. "I should get back to work. Do you want to come back and have a piece of cake?" he asks Chad.

"No thanks; I bought myself one too," Chad says, ignoring Jared's huff of laughter. "And I should get going anyway."

"Okay," Jensen says, nodding easily. "Thanks again."

"See you later," Jared says, and Chad gives them a wave as he leaves.

"And I was only going to buy you dinner," Jensen says. "I didn't know I was going to have this kind of competition."

Jared rolls his eyes and gives Jensen a shove. "It's okay; I don't expect everything I get to be equally awesome. Now get back to work." Jensen rolls his eyes but goes, taking the cake with him.

***

Jensen and Jared have to leave pretty early the day before the wedding because they're supposed to be in San Antonio before three. Well, truthfully, it isn't that early, but it's before ten, and Jensen considers it early anytime it's before ten on a day he doesn't have to work.

"We should have flown," Jensen says when they're walking to Jared's truck. "It would have taken like an hour."

"Don't be ridiculous," Jared says. "Driving is way more fun."

"Fun? Clearly we have different definitions of the word," Jensen says.

"Come on, it's like a mini road trip. Who doesn't love a road trip?" Jared sounds unreasonably cheerful.

"Don't road trips usually have, like, sights and things? Toy museums and giant crap, that kind of stuff?"

"Giant crap?" Jared asks, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah. Balls of yarn, uh--statues, and. Other giant things? Windmills? I don't know."

"You definitely sound like you know what you're talking about," Jared says. "I don't know if we're going to see any giant things, but I bet there'll be plenty of convenience stores and out of state license plates to look at."

"Well now I'm excited. You should have started with that."

***

"Hey, so…" Jared starts after a brief lull in their conversation about two hours into the trip.

"Yeah?" Jensen asks, turning a little in his seat to look at Jared.

"I never really said thanks for going to this thing with me," Jared says. "And the whole, you know, pretending to date me thing."

"Don't worry about it," Jensen says easily. "It's the least I could do after everything you've done for me."

"Yeah, but I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. I mean, you're not doing this because you think you have to or something, right?" Jared bites his lip, looking worried.

"Dude, no," Jensen says seriously. "Of course I don't think that. It's not like you could have actually made me come with you, you know?"

"I know, but--"

"I'm serious," Jensen says, cutting Jared off. "Don't worry about it. I honestly don't mind coming with you."

"Okay," Jared says, glancing at Jensen briefly before looking back to the road.

"Okay."

"I feel kind of bad about lying to my mom," Jared says after a minute. "I didn't mean for it to turn into a thing; I was only trying to get out of a stupid date."

"Yeah, I know," Jensen says. "Look, if you want to tell her the truth or whatever, you can. But I think it would just cause more problems than it would help. It's not like you told her we were engaged or something."

"Right."

"You didn't tell her we were engaged did you?" Jensen asks suspiciously.

"Dude, no. Of course not."

"Okay then. So maybe it would have been better if you never told her we were dating, but it's still not the end of the world. Stop freaking out about it."

"All right," Jared says. "I'll try."

"Good. Also, if it helps, remember that I also let her believe we were dating when I talked to her, so if you go down for this, you will bring me down with you."

Jared laughs. "Well, in that case, I guess we'll have to take this secret to our graves."

"I knew you'd understand," Jensen says.

***

Jensen is tired of being on the road by the time they get to Jared's parents' house.

"Should we hold hands or something?" Jared asks he pulls into the driveway.

"I don't think so," Jensen says. "Just act normal, okay? Don't be weird."

"Holding hands isn't weird," Jared says.

"Not holding hands isn't weird either, though."

"I guess," Jared agrees.

Jared's mom greets them at the door, wrapping them both up in hugs.

"Where is everyone?" Jared asks her.

"Your Dad and Megan ran to the store," she says. "They should be back any minute. You beat Jeff and his family here."

"I told you we should have slept in later," Jensen says, and Sharon laughs.

"Go on upstairs and put your things up," she says. "Then come back down here so you can tell me everything that's been going on in the last few months."

Jared nudges Jensen toward the stairs and follows him up to Jared's old room.

"I tried to tell her we could stay in a hotel," Jared says apologetically, setting their bags in one corner as Jensen hangs their dress pants and shirts in the closet. "But she insisted we stay here. She was very… assertive."

"I don't mind," Jensen says honestly. "It would have been kind of silly to stay at a hotel."

"Okay, good. Let's go back down before she starts wondering what we're doing up here."

"Wait," Jensen says, stopping Jared at the door. "Should we have come up with some fake information or something?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. What if we tell her conflicting things?"

"What are you planning to tell her?"

"I don't know," Jensen says again.

Jared shrugs. "We do live together," he says. "Just, you know. Tell her true things. You're the one who said to act normal."

"Okay," Jensen says doubtfully.

Jared rolls his eyes as he steps into the hallway. "It'll be fine."

It turns out Jared is right. He and Jensen make convincing boyfriends simply by telling the truth, which, okay, Jensen thinks maybe they should be concerned about that or something, but maybe it's just because Sharon doesn't have any reason to suspect anything different.

"He broke the washer," Jared says after they've caught Sharon up on everything truly important. Not that there was much to tell; they talk to her on the phone often enough.

"He's lying," Jensen points out. "How do you even break a washer? You push the right buttons and don't put too much clothes in it. Anybody can do that."

"You would think," Jared says, making a face. Jensen glares at him.

Sharon just watches them, grinning.

***

Dinner is somewhat hectic. Jared's aunt has rented out an exceptionally large room at some fancy Italian restaurant, and it's packed full of people.

"How many of these people are you actually related to?" Jensen asks.

"No idea," Jared replies. "I recognize maybe thirty of them."

"Well, I guess that makes me feel a little bit better," Jensen says.

The whole thing is a rather long affair, with a couple of speeches and a lot of conversation with Jared's relatives--and a few people who may or may not be Jared's relatives, but at least know who Jared is.

"These people probably think you know who they are," Jensen points out when they have a moment alone.

"Probably so," Jared agrees, idly folding a napkin on the table.

"You should pay more attention at family reunions."

Jared makes a face. "We don't have family reunions."

"Yeah, well, maybe you should," Jensen says.

"I'll tell my mom you said so," Jared says. "She'll be thrilled you want to meet everyone, I'm sure."

"I'm sure," Jensen agrees, stifling a yawn. He isn't sure how he's so exhausted when he basically spent the entire day sitting around, but for some reason he is. He's beyond relieved when they finally get back to Jared's parents' house, and he's honestly surprised that he makes it into bed before falling asleep.

***

Jensen wakes up practically glued to Jared. He's still tired, but too fidgety to get back to sleep. He doesn't want to end up waking Jared up, so he carefully extracts himself from the bed, evading Jared's clingy arms and ignoring his mumbled protests. After getting dressed and making a quick stop in the bathroom, he heads downstairs to the kitchen where he can hear someone already moving around. Jensen steps into the kitchen and finds Jared's mom standing at the counter as she prepares breakfast.

"Good morning," Jensen says; it comes out mostly coherent, though he still isn't fully awake.

"Hey," Sharon says, turning to look at him. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. Thanks." Jensen pours himself a cup of coffee and shuffles over to sit at the bar.

Sharon laughs. "Are you even awake yet?"

"I think so." Jensen mumbles into his coffee, taking a sip to see if it'll scald his tongue and practically inhaling it when it doesn't. They sit in silence for a few minutes until Jensen feels more alert. "You need any help with anything?"

"Oh, no," Sharon says. "You're a guest; just sit right there."

"You're afraid I'd ruin it, aren't you?"

Sharon looks at him, her eyes widening innocently. "I said no such thing."

Jensen snorts, amused. "You didn't have to." He doesn't miss the smirk on her face before she turns back to what she's doing. "Is everyone else still asleep?"

She nods. "They'll be up soon, I imagine."

"I'm not used to being awake before everyone else."

Sharon hums in agreement. "I expected Jared when I heard you come in. He was always an early riser."

"He still is," Jensen says. "Usually even when he doesn't have to work. He's weird like that."

"He gets it from me."

"Oh. I mean, he's really awesome like that."

Sharon laughs, shaking her head, and before Jensen can say anything else, Jared comes bounding into the room.

"Jensen," Jared says loudly. "You're awake! I thought maybe someone had kidnapped you in the night." Jensen rolls his eyes, and Jared ignores him. "What are y'all doing in here?"

"Talking about how amazing you are," Jensen says. Sharon laughs again, and Jared pouts.

"Why don't I believe you?" he asks; Jensen shrugs. Jared narrows his eyes suspiciously and steals Jensen's coffee.

"Hey," Jensen complains.

"That's what you get for being mean to me." Jared shrugs, seemingly unconcerned, but rolls his eyes and pours Jensen another cup when Jensen glares at him long enough.

Sharon lets Jared help with breakfast--apparently he is not considered a guest--and before long, the food is almost ready and Jensen can hear the rest of the house waking up.

They all get settled in the dining room for breakfast--as settled as things ever are in the Padalecki household at mealtime, anyway. In Jensen's experience, these things are always hectic; nobody bothers to be quiet as they carry on their various conversations--with the exception of Megan, who tends to look about how Jensen feels in the morning: as likely to fall asleep in her plate as not. This morning is no exception; Jensen is still a bit too tired to try to keep up with anyone's conversation, and he's pretty sure Megan is eating with her eyes closed. He considers asking her how she's doing it; it would be a useful skill to have.

Jensen's thoughts are interrupted by Jared elbowing him in the side. "Isn't that right?" he asks, looking at Jensen. Jensen blinks at Jared and shrugs.

"Sure."

"Exactly; thank you." Jared grins victoriously and turns back to his brother to continue with what is apparently some sort of debate about something.

Jeff's wife, Amy, is giving Jensen an amused look when he turns away from Jared. "You don't even know what they're talking about, do you?"

"No idea," Jensen admits before he takes a bite of his eggs. Amy shakes her head at him and looks like she's about to say something else when her twin boys, Nathan and Tyler, start screeching at each other over something that possibly involves dragons, from what Jensen can understand, and then she turns her attention to dealing with that.

They manage to finish eating in relative peace after the boys are put in time out, and after breakfast they mostly sit around, catching up. Jared chases the kids around in the backyard until Amy realizes what they're doing and scolds all three of them for getting dirty. Jared looks properly abashed and heads upstairs to shower, and Jensen can't hold back a laugh. Amy grins wryly.

"Sometimes I get stuck in teacher mode," she says, apologetic. "I've been working with kindergartners during summer school." That makes Jensen laugh harder, and Amy looks amused. "It works pretty well on Jeff, too," she adds. Jeff hears this and objects; Jensen can hear them playfully arguing about it as they wander out of the room, taking the boys off for a bath. Somehow left alone, at least for the moment, Jensen leans his head back against the couch and closes his eyes, taking the opportunity to rest.

***

The next thing Jensen knows, he's being shaken awake by Jared. Jensen startles, jerking his head off of Jared's shoulder, and Jared gives him a squeeze with the arm he's got around Jensen before pulling away. "What," Jensen says, slightly disoriented.

"Lunch is ready," Jared says, standing up.

"Lunch?" Jensen looks around at the empty room and allows Jared to tug him up off of the couch. "Jared, tell me you did not let me sleep on you in front of your family for several hours."

"You looked tired," Jared says. "Besides, I bet no one even noticed."

Jensen gives Jared a highly skeptical look at that because the odds of it being true are basically nonexistent. His belief is confirmed when they walk into the dining room and Megan immediately smirks at him. "Good morning, sleeping beauty," she says, laughing when Jensen blushes and glares.

"Shut up," Jared tells her, nudging Jensen to sit down, and Jensen glares at him too.

After lunch, the entire house is in an uproar with everyone getting ready for the wedding. Jared's nephews are running all over the house, apparently opposed to wearing anything even vaguely formal, and Jensen helps Amy chase them down so she can get them dressed.

"How can they have that much energy?" Jensen wants to know.

Jared laughs. "They're four, Jensen" he says. "That's like, the definition of energy."

It takes longer than Jensen things it legitimately should, but eventually everyone in the house is ready to go. Jared follows his parents to the church where the wedding is taking place, and they all head inside.

"This is insane," Jared says, looking around the church. "I'm kind of afraid to touch anything."

"Don't touch anything," Jensen says. He thinks this is one of those times you're not actually allowed to touch anything. The church is nice anyway, with polished wood floors and a high arched ceiling. Then there are the decorations; they're hazards, honestly: intricate arrangements of flowers that involve a lot of skinny tables, fragile looking vases, and possibly some defiance of gravity.

"Can I touch the guest book?" Jared asks. The table the guest book is on has a similar arrangement, but there are also candles. They're floating in vases of water, so that probably reduces the risk of a fire, but still.

"No, you can't," Jensen replies. "I guess you can touch the pen though."

"Thank you. I truly appreciate it."

***

"This was supposed to start more than ten minutes ago. Do you think this is a runaway bride situation?" Jared asks when they've been sitting in the room for a while, waiting for the wedding to start.

Sharon gives him a reproachful look, and Jensen snorts. "You shouldn't sound so gleeful about that, Jared."

"I'm not gleeful," he protests. "It would be very upsetting, I'm sure. But seriously, I've never been to a wedding where that happened."

"I think it's a little bit worrying that it sounds like that's a goal you have."

"I wouldn't call it a goal, necessarily. I just think it would be an unfortunate yet entertaining situation," Jared says right as the bridal march starts up, leaving Jensen to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent a case of extremely inappropriate laughter.

Jensen has never been to a wedding before, which Jared is shocked by for some reason. He'd asked how Jensen had managed to get to twenty-eight years old without ever going to a wedding, and Jensen had shrugged and said nobody in his family had gotten married when he was younger, he doesn't have any married friends, and, well, it's not as though anybody in his family was going to be inviting him to anything now. That had done a pretty good job of ending that conversation, and Jared spent the next five minutes apologizing for bringing it up, even as Jensen insisted he wasn't upset.

So Jensen has never been to a wedding before, but for some reason he thought they would be longer.

"The reception is the good part," Jared says when Jensen mentions this to him. They're standing outside the building with the rest of the crowd gathered to wait on the bride and groom to emerge. "Nobody cares about the wedding part."

"Nobody?" Jensen asks doubtfully.

"Well. I guess brides and crying mothers do. Receptions have cake though." Jensen snorts, and Jared nudges him with his elbow. "Throw your birdseed at the happy couple," he says. "Then we can go have cake. And champagne."

***

Jensen has lost count of the number of times he's woken up all tangled up with Jared by now. But this is the first time he's done it in quite this position, almost completely on top of Jared with something hard pressing into his hip that is probably--okay, definitely--Jared's cock. And that--yeah. Not something Jensen is used to, to say the least. Jensen's plan is to extract himself as swiftly and delicately as he can from what could quickly become an awkward situation, but apparently Jensen's body does not agree with this plan, and he just kind of--jolts. Jared makes a noise at that, and Jensen glances up, startled. Their eyes meet, and Jensen can feel himself flushing, his entire body going hot at the thought of Jared waking up to find Jensen rutting against him, but before he can think anything else, Jared is moving. Not away from Jensen, but up against him, clumsy roll of his hips. Jared shifts, letting Jensen fall fully between his legs, and Jensen bites his lip to hold back the noise that wants to escape when his erection brushes against Jared's.

Everything just spins out of control after that.

It's not clear who starts it, but suddenly they're kissing, and when Jensen feels Jared's tongue slide against his own, he stops trying to think about anything else. He only worries about Jared's mouth against his, and Jared's fingers digging into his hips, and the friction between them as he clumsily grinds his cock down against whatever part of Jared happens to be there. It doesn't take long for Jensen to be shaking and making embarrassing little noises against Jared's mouth as he comes in his shorts. Jared clutches at him harder, makes a strangled noise, and goes still under Jensen.

It's not until then, both of them lying there spent and panting, that the whole situation truly becomes clear in Jensen's head. If the way Jared stiffens up underneath him is anything to go by, it's hitting him too.

"Um," Jared says, staring up at Jensen. He looks like he's kind of in shock. "That--um."

"Yeah." Jensen has no idea what he's agreeing with, but he has to say something. Jared pushes gently at Jensen, and Jensen blushes, awkwardly lifting himself off of Jared. Jared sits up and scoots a little farther away.

"I'm sorry," Jared says. "I don't--I think I had too much champagne, or--"

"Jared--"

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't--I don't know what happened." Jared shrugs helplessly.

"Okay," Jensen agrees. "Um, I don't really know either. We just..." Jensen trails off, unsure what to say.

"So we should--" Jared makes an abortive gesture. "Can we not make this into a big deal?"

"Yeah." Jensen coughs, clearing is throat. "Yeah, it's not a big deal."

Jared doesn't seem convinced. "Are you sure? I--"

"Dude," Jensen says, giving a smile he hopes doesn't look as forced as it is. "I'm sure. Please stop freaking out; it's fine."

"Okay," Jared says. "I'm just gonna--yeah. I'm going to go. To the bathroom." Jensen bites his lip and waits for Jared to leave before he lets himself fall back on the bed. He sucks in a deep breath, letting it out before he closes his eyes.

This is definitely not something he was expecting.

***

The drive home is surprisingly comfortable. Jensen feels enormously relieved, and he thinks he was more worried than he let himself realize. Maybe he was secretly a little bit afraid Jared was going to be weird and like, never speak to Jensen again or something, but Jared is acting normal, acting like there's no reason not to act normal, so apparently Jensen's fears were unnecessary. Jensen never claimed to not be a bit paranoid at times.

"Did you see that?" Jared is asking, and Jensen blinks, realizing he had zoned out for a minute.

"What?"

Jared looks at Jensen, disbelieving. "God, Jensen, what are you even doing over there?"

"Nothing," Jensen says, defensive.

"You're the one who was complaining about there not being any sights to see on our road trip, and now you're not even paying attention to the sights around you." Jared shakes his head sadly.

"This does not count as a road trip. We didn't even leave the state! And I don't see any sights," Jensen says, glancing around.

"You missed it."

"So tell me what I missed," Jensen says.

Jared sighs sullenly. "It won't be as funny if I have to explain it to you."

Jensen rolls his eyes. "You should have taken a picture. People take pictures on road trips."

"So you admit it's a road trip." Jared grins triumphantly.

Jensen shakes his head, feigning exasperation. "You're exhausting."

It continues on like that until they get home. They make it up to their apartment, and Jensen sprawls out on the couch, relieved to be home where he can relax. Then he notices Jared standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, and Jensen tenses nervously. He doesn't say anything, waiting for Jared to do something, and finally he sighs and sits down next to Jensen.

"Should we talk or something?" Jared asks, and Jensen bites his lip.

"We can," he says, shrugging. "If you want to."

"I don't _want_ to." Jared sighs again. "But I feel kind of weird leaving things like--whatever."

"You're not going to freak out or anything are you?" Jensen asks him.

"No," Jared says. "I mean, as long as we're okay. We're okay, right?"

"Of course."

"Okay," Jared says, watching Jensen closely.

"Hey," Jensen says with a grin. "Isn't it a tradition or something? Doing stupid shit after someone else's wedding?"

Jared snorts. "I don't think it's a tradition, but--"

"Whatever," Jensen says. "Just part of the whole wedding experience."

Jared shakes his head. "Whatever you say." He nudges Jensen with his elbow. "So, you want to order a pizza or something?"

"Sure," Jensen agrees.

***

"We need to go grocery shopping," Jared tells Jensen about fifteen minutes before they're both supposed to get off work.

Jensen almost growls. "I was having a good day."

"The mere mention of grocery shopping did not ruin your day, Jensen." Jared looks rather amused.

"No," Jensen agrees. "But the thought of going to the grocery store is totally going to ruin my day. Not to mention what actually going to the grocery store is going to do to my day."

"You're being dramatic again," Jared says. "Just so you know. Having this much hatred for the grocery store is unhealthy."

"Do you know what else is unhealthy?" Jensen asks.

"I think I can guess what you're going to say."

"The grocery store," Jensen says, ignoring Jared. "All those people. Pushing and shoving their shopping carts around and knocking each other down, dragging sticky little children around by their hair, beating each other up over the softest loaf of bread. I can't handle it. It's dangerous."

"What the fuck grocery store do you guys shop at?" Chad asks from Samantha's desk. Jensen is surprised to realize he'd actually forgotten Chad was there.

"He's making all of that stuff up," Jared says.

"I am not," Jensen says. He's only embellishing a little. "Do you not remember that guy who literally ran over me with his cart?"

"You are totally using the word 'literally' wrong," Jared protests. "He bumped into you. And then he apologized. He was really nice about it."

Jensen scowls. "The grocery store is full of hooligans."

"Well, you're going anyway. Grocery shopping alone is not nearly as fun as grocery shopping with you."

"You just enjoy torturing me and making fun of me," Jensen accuses. Jared just shrugs, not denying anything.

"So, we'll go after work?"

"Yes," Jensen says, sighing.

Chad looks at Jared with wide eyes, mouthing _what the fuck_?

"I can see you, Chad," Jensen says.

"Right. Um, sorry," Chad says, snatching up something random to read, and Jensen is definitely proud of the fact that Chad actually looks a bit scared.

Jensen makes it through the grocery store without having any major breakdowns. It's not too crowded, so the place is pretty calm. Jensen sees no fights and only two children, and neither of them is crying.

"See, it's not so bad," Jared says when Jensen mentions this to him.

"This time," Jensen says. Maybe he exaggerates sometimes just to get a reaction of out Jared, but Jensen has seen some fairly disturbing things happen in this very store.

"Well I guess that's all you can really hope for, right? Have to take the grocery store one day at a time." Jared is grinning, and Jensen rolls his eyes at him.

"You think it's funny," he says, "but the next time you need me to kill a spider for you? Don't be surprised when I stand back and watch you cry."

"You wouldn't really do that to me, would you?"

"We'll see, won't we?" Jensen says seriously.

Jared shakes his head in amused exasperation.

***

Jensen is throwing clothes in the washer, mostly taking care to make sure they are of similar color, when Jared crowds into the little laundry room with him, shutting the door behind him.

"What are you doing? This room is too small for this," Jensen complains. "And it gets too hot in here when you close that door."

"I've come to monitor you," Jared says as he leans back against the door and crosses his arms, watching Jensen closely. "I still don't fully trust you in here."

Jensen rolls his eyes. "What do you want, Jared?"

"I just got off the phone with my mom. She's going to be in town for some convention thing on Tuesday, and she wants to have dinner with us."

"Okay," Jensen says, pushing Jared away when he tries to help get the clothes in the washer but mostly just ends up getting in Jensen's way.

Jared steps back against the door again. "You'll go?"

"Of course I'll go," Jensen says. "When have I ever refused to do anything your mother wanted me to do?"

"I see your point."

"Exactly. Now go away, or I'll only wash my clothes."

"You wouldn't," Jared says. "You're too lazy to sort through them."

Jensen scowls at Jared until he leaves.

***

Jared grabs Jensen's hand when they're walking into the restaurant to meet Sharon. Jensen gives him a questioning look, and Jared shoots him a glare and holds his hand tighter.

"My mom and I had this whole conversation about how we shouldn't feel like we can't be physically affectionate in front of her," he says. Jensen laughs a little, but Jared shakes his head. "I think she was actually kind of offended."

"What?"

"I don’t even know. But I don't want to have that conversation again, so you're holding my hand right now."

"I guess if I have to," Jensen says.

"That's the spirit." Jared looks around. "There she is," he says; he gestures to a booth across the room and starts over, pulling Jensen behind him.

"Are we late?" Jared asks, letting go of Jensen's hand so Jensen can sit down closest to the wall before Jared slides in next to him.

"Not at all," Sharon assures them. "I've only been here a few minutes."

Their waiter comes up then, and Jensen waits for him to leave before he turns to Sharon. "How's the conference?" he asks.

"Oh, it's fine," she says. "Kind of boring."

They talk for a while, and then Jensen happens to glance up as someone is walking by, and when he sees who it is, he freezes. Jared must feel him tense up because he glances up too and turns to Jensen, his eyes wide.

"Was that...?" He lets the question trail off, probably afraid to say it in case he's wrong, but Jensen nods stiffly; Jared doesn't need to say it out loud. Jared only knows what Jensen's parents look like from the few pictures Jensen keeps in a box at the back of his closet and the one time he'd been with Jensen when he bumped into them at the zoo, of all places. But it's obviously enough for Jared to have recognized them as they walked by their table. Jared briefly glances at Sharon before leaning in close to Jensen. "You okay?" he asks softly, lips almost close enough to brush Jensen's ear.

"I'm fine," Jensen says, nodding again.

"We can go somewhere else."

"No," Jensen says a little sharply. He refuses to let his parents run him off like that, even if they won't know they're doing it. He takes a deep breath, letting it out before continuing in a normal voice. "I'm fine."

"Okay," Jared says, nodding; his lips brush against the side of Jensen's head, and Jensen isn't sure whether it's on purpose or not. "Let me know if you change your mind." He pulls back and studies Jensen's face for a second, nodding slightly before turning back to his mom. Jensen looks at her too; she's looking between them, a concerned expression on her face.

"Everything okay?" she asks.

"Yeah," Jensen says. "That--um..."

"Jensen's parents are here," Jared finishes for him when it becomes clear Jensen isn't going to, and he slides his arm around Jensen and squeezes. Jensen nods gratefully.

"Oh," Sharon says, looking even more concerned.

Jensen smiles at her, feeling sheepish. "It's fine," he says. "It just doesn't happen often, so it always catches me off guard. But I'm fine."

She doesn't look like she quite believes him, but she nods and lets him change the subject, and Jared leaves his arm around Jensen until the waiter comes with their food.

***

"Are you really okay?" Jared asks once they get home. "You've been tense all night."

Jensen sighs tiredly. "I'll be fine. I don't know why I still let them get to me like that; it's stupid."

"It's not stupid," Jared says. "I don't know how you handle it as well as you do; I couldn't do it. If it were my parents, I--well, I don't know what I'd do. Not keep it together like you do, probably."

"Yeah. Well," Jensen says, running a hand over his face. He startles a little when Jared steps into his space but relaxes against him when he wraps his arms around Jensen.

"I'm serious," Jared says, and Jensen sighs, burying his face against Jared's neck and letting himself cling to him for a minute before pulling away. Jared backs away too, staring at Jensen for a moment. "Let's watch a movie," he says finally.

"Okay," Jensen agrees. It's late, and he's tired, but he knows Jared just wants to cheer him up. And Jared is actually pretty good at that most of the time, so Jensen might as well let him.

Jared takes up more space on the couch than is reasonable, like always, and Jensen can feel the tension start to drain out of his body as he settles in against him.

***

Jared yells at Chad at work one day and then goes home early, declaring that he's sick. Everybody knows it's not true, but nobody calls him on it either. Jensen can't blame anyone for getting the urge to yell at Chad, but that doesn't make the whole thing any less weird.

"What did you do?" Jensen asks Chad, and Chad shrugs, looking confused.

"I didn't do anything," he says. "Your boyfriend's just in a bitchy mood."

"He's not--" Jensen shakes his head and sighs. "Whatever."

"Seriously, though," Chad says. "You should, like, make sure he's okay or something. I've pissed him off a million times, but he's never acted that way."

"Maybe it was one time too many," Jensen says, but he doesn't honestly believe it. Chad just makes a face; he clearly doesn't believe it either.

Jared is on the couch watching TV when Jensen gets home; his face is pale, and his eyes are a little red. He looks like maybe he's going to cry, or has been crying, or something. Whatever it is, it's not very reassuring.

"Hey," Jensen says carefully as he sits down next to him, and Jared smiles at it him dimly.

"Hey."

"So. Chad really pissed you off, I guess."

Jared sighs and runs one hand through his hair. "He didn't actually do anything that bad," he says. "Maybe I should call him."

"I don't think he's upset or anything," Jensen says. "Uh--he's kind of worried about you, actually."

Jared grimaces. "Yeah."

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Jared says, and Jensen doesn't think he's even trying to be convincing.

"Yeah." Jensen scratches at the back of his neck. "No offense or anything, but I don't really believe you. What's going on, man?"

"It's nothing," Jared says, sighing at Jensen's unconvinced look. "Okay, it's not nothing," he admits reluctantly, looking away. "But it's not really _something_ either. I was feeling stressed out, and I took it out on Chad. Which sucks, I know, but I think I got it out of my system at least, so."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Jared says, turning back to Jensen. "Mostly, anyway. I just need some time to cool down. I'll be fine."

"Okay," Jensen says. "So, uh--want me to fix something for dinner?"

That gets a legitimate grin out of Jared. "Do you promise not to give me food poisoning?"

"I didn't give myself food poisoning," Jensen says grumpily. "But yes, I promise not to give you food poisoning."

"All right," Jared says. "Thanks, Jensen."

***

Jensen pays Jared extra attention for the rest of the week, but he seems to have gotten over whatever was bothering him, and Jensen figures it'll be fine to drag him along to the party Katie's having on Saturday to celebrate finding a new job.

Katie's apartment is already filled with people by the time Jared and Jensen get there, and there is music playing so loud that Jensen will be surprised if nobody calls the cops before the night is through. It takes them several minutes to find Katie in the crowd.

"Hey," Jensen says, giving her a hug. "Congrats on the job."

"Yeah, congrats," Jared echoes.

"Thanks. I'm glad you both could make it."

"Like you'd notice if we didn't," Jensen says, gesturing vaguely around the room. "This is crazy. Your neighbors are going to hate you."

"That's why all of my neighbors are here," Katie tells him, grinning.

Jared laughs. "Well, that's one way to take care of that problem."

The three of them chat for several minutes before a friend of Katie's comes over and pulls her away to dance.

"We should dance too," Jared says, trying to direct Jensen toward the middle of the room.

Jensen groans and refuses to budge. "Can I at least get something to drink first?"

"Sure," Jared says cheerfully. "You're a better dancer when you're drunk anyway."

"Oh God, I changed my mind."

Jared snorts. "Come on; I promise not to let you do anything too embarrassing."

"You're not as reassuring as you think you are," Jensen says, but he follows Jared and accepts the beer he's handed.

Neither one of them actually gets drunk; they have a few beers each and spend the next several hours dancing or hanging out in the corner when they need a break. The party is still going strong when they leave, but Jensen is tired and sweaty, and he's had more than enough fun for one night.

"Past your bedtime, old man?" Jared asks when Jensen says he's ready to go.

"Fuck you," Jensen replies easily. "We have to work in the morning." Jared laughs but doesn't protest when Jensen shoves him toward the door.

They're comfortably silent on the way home; Jensen is glad to be away from the noise and heat of the party. Even as late as it is, it's still hot outside, but at least they're away from the stuffy, crowded apartment, and there is enough of a breeze to feel cool against Jensen's sweat damp skin. They live only a few blocks from Katie, so it doesn't take long for them to walk home.

Jensen shuts the door behind him once they've gotten inside their apartment. "Well, that was fun," he says.

"Yeah," Jared agrees, hovering a few feet from Jensen and biting his lip.

Jensen raises an eyebrow at him. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Jared says. Jensen watches him for a moment, and Jared stares back at him with his eyes a little wide and his mouth in a straight line. It's the look Jared gets when he's trying to appear innocent, but it's the worst innocent face ever; it only ever makes Jensen more suspicious.

"Okay then," Jensen says slowly. They stand there looking at each other for several long moments, and just when Jensen is about to ask why they're standing by their front door, staring at each other like a couple of idiots, Jared steps toward him, crowding Jensen up against the door.

"Jensen."

"Yeah," Jensen says; his voice comes out slightly shaky. Jared presses up against him, and Jensen sucks in a breath, tilting his head back a bit so he can look up at Jared. Their eyes lock, and Jensen can feel himself flush, going hot all over. He licks his lip and watches Jared track the movement with his eyes. "Jared--"

Jared cuts him off by leaning down and bringing their mouths together, and that's fine, awesome; Jensen doesn't know where he was taking that sentence anyway. Jared's tongue brushes against Jensen's lip, and Jensen opens his mouth, lets Jared slide his tongue in against his own. Jared lets out a noise, bites at Jensen's lip, and hooks his fingers through Jensen's belt loops and tugs. Jensen follows without question.

They don't get far; Jared pushes Jensen onto the couch and follows him down, covering Jensen's body with his own, falling between Jensen's spread legs. Jensen moans when he feels Jared's erection against his own half hard cock, and he slides one hand up the back of Jared's shirt, bringing the other up to tangle in Jared's hair, pressing their bodies closer together everywhere. Jared makes a rough noise and grinds down against Jensen, and Jensen realizes there are far too many items of clothing between them.

Jensen nudges Jared up, and their mouths separate long enough for Jensen to tug Jared's shirt off and then his own, carelessly tossing them both to the floor. Jensen runs his hands over Jared's chest and down, feeling the way Jared's stomach tenses when he rolls his hips against Jensen. He grinds their cocks together through their jeans and reminds Jensen there are more clothes that need to be gone.

Jensen manages to get Jared's belt undone easily but fumbles with his jeans, taking a moment to get the button undone before he's able to shove them down Jared's hips. Jared pulls up enough to shove his jeans down the rest of the way and kick them to the floor along with his shoes. Jensen wraps a hand around Jared's hip and tries to tug him back down, making a vaguely protesting noise when Jared resists. Then he realizes Jared is trying to get his jeans off as well, and Jensen scrambles to help, maneuvering around until they're gone.

When they're both down to just their boxer shorts, Jared drops back down onto Jensen, and Jensen can barely control himself; he hooks one leg around Jared, grinding against him clumsily. Jared brings his mouth down on Jensen's neck, sucking and biting as they continue to move together; Jensen's skin is buzzing, and he almost forgets what he's trying to do. He takes a deep breath, hoping the oxygen will help clear his head, and slides one hand down, hooking his thumb in the top of Jared's boxers.

"Jared--"

For some reason, Jared takes this as a signal to stop, which is definitely not what Jensen was going for. Jared lifts himself half off of Jensen, staring down at him with wide eyes.

"Fuck," Jared says.

"Jared, what--" Jared pulls away from Jensen, shaking Jensen's hand free from his waist as he sits up.

"God," Jared says, running a hand through his hair and looking around a little wildly. "I'm sorry,"

Jensen sits up and reaches out to touch Jared, hesitating when Jared flinches. "What--"

"I think I drank too much," Jared says, even though Jensen knows it's not true. "This is a bad idea." Jared stands up, gathering his clothes, and Jensen scrambles to his feet, gaping at Jared.

"Jared, you're not--come on, man." Jensen's mind is whirling; the sudden shift in Jared has apparently left him unable to form a single coherent thought. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," Jared says again. "I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking; I don't want--just--I'm really sorry, okay?" Jared bites his lip, looking at Jensen for a moment before turning and going to his room. Jensen is incapable of doing anything but stare after Jared stupidly, unsure.

It takes several minutes for Jensen to get himself together so he can collect his own discarded clothes and head to his room. Jared's door is closed when Jensen reaches it, and he pauses, standing in the hallway for a moment before he gets the courage to knock. His heart beats rapidly; suddenly he's nervous about what he's going to say if Jared comes to the door. It doesn't matter, though; Jared doesn't answer, and after a few minutes Jensen continues down the hall to his own room, closing his door quietly behind him and going to bed.

***

Jensen is reluctant to get out of bed the next morning, and by the time he's convinced himself to go into the kitchen, he is running decidedly late.

"Morning," Jared says when he looks up to see Jensen standing aimlessly in the kitchen doorway. "You better eat. You're running kind of late."

"Yeah," Jensen says, stepping over to get a bowl out of the cabinet. He pours himself some cereal and sits down at the table before he realizes he's not even really hungry, and even though it's the good cereal and not the cardboard stuff, he can only bring himself to take a few bites.

"I'll grab you some coffee on my way to work," Jared says as he's leaving. "You probably won't have time."

Jensen stares at him blankly for a few seconds. "Um. Thanks."

"No problem. See you there."

Jensen hears the front door close a minute later and gets up to pour his cereal down the sink.

***

Jensen watches Jared closely at work whenever he gets the chance, but Jared acts completely normal. Like nothing out of the ordinary happened the night before, like he didn't leave Jensen in the living room more than half naked with no explanation at all. Jensen takes a moment to consider if he didn't imagine the whole thing. He doesn't think he's that out of touch with reality, though, and there's supporting evidence in the bruises on his collar bone, put there by Jared's mouth.

So clearly it happened; Jared is just pretending it didn't. And Jensen is not entirely sure what to make of it, but he figures he shouldn't feel angry. Confused, yes--and he's got that covered, too--but there's no reason for him to grit his teeth every time Jared looks at him. And when Jared actually speaks to him, cheerful as usual, Jensen has to resist shaking him until he explains exactly what the fuck he's playing at. It's almost like Jensen would rather have Jared freaking out, which--it doesn't make sense. Jensen feels ridiculous.

But if Jared's not going to make this into a thing, Jensen won't either. They'll ignore it, act like it never happened.

***

It only takes a couple of weeks for the problem with Jensen's plan to become apparent: he is utterly incapable of just ignoring what happened. While Jared seems wholly unaffected, Jensen feels like he's going insane.

Anytime Jared touches Jensen, his heart rate speeds up and his stomach does this weird, twisty thing. Jensen has always known, mostly inconsequentially, that Jared is a touchy-feely person. He's always sprawling himself out on the couch, halfway on top of Jensen if necessary, or brushing up behind Jensen while he's washing the dishes, or knocking their legs together at lunch when they have to fit into a booth that's too small to easily contain their legs, or crowding into the laundry room where there is barely room for them to move without their arms brushing, or--basically, Jared is constantly touching Jensen. And it's not that Jensen didn't know this, and, okay, maybe kind of enjoy that Jared felt comfortable enough with him to do that, but--it's different now.

When they touch now, Jensen remembers how it felt to have Jared touching him everywhere, Jared on top of him with their bare skin pressed together, Jared's hands running over his stomach, his chest, into his hair, Jared's mouth on his neck, his shoulders, biting, sucking, breathing damply against his skin. And Jensen knows what it feels like to kiss Jared, what Jared's mouth tastes like, what his skin tastes like, how his cock feels pressed against his own, how--

Jensen is not supposed to think about these things every time Jared gets within a foot of him, but his thoughts tend to spiral out of control before he can stop them.

If that wasn't bad enough, one day Jensen is at work, taking a break because he's starting to get a headache from eye strain. He's out in the store, looking for Jared, and when he finds him, he's with a customer. The guy is about six inches shorter than Jared and has short blond hair, and he is blatantly flirting with Jared. He's leaning in closer to Jared than is remotely necessary and smiling up at him, and he reaches out to touch Jared's arm casually. It's clear to Jensen that Jared is not interested, but the guy keeps talking. And, really, what's up with that; they're probably not even talking about books. Jensen glares before he realizes he's doing it, and when he does, he reminds himself that he's not a jealous asshole. And also Jared is not his boyfriend, no matter what his family thinks.

Seriously, Jensen is ridiculous. And maybe a little bit screwed.

***

Jensen spends a few days panicking slightly, not that he'd admit that to anyone. He's pretty sure this situation warrants at least some degree of panicking, so he doesn't feel too bad about it. It doesn't take long for him to get sick of it, though. Jensen refuses to live in a state of constant arousal, secretly pining after Jared like a lovesick teenager. It's not even totally Jensen's fault; Jared is really the one who keeps getting physical with Jensen, and they are adults. They can talk about this like adults.

Jensen decides to confront Jared on a Thursday. Neither of them has to work, and Jensen gets up before Jared does--clearly a testament to how severely this whole situation is affecting him. Jensen's thought about how he's going to bring the subject up with Jared, what exactly he's going to say, but he can't make his mind up for more than about half an hour before changing it again, so he's basically going to have to wing it. He waits until Jared has eaten, trying to give him time wake up and not wanting him to feel like Jensen has been up waiting to ambush him or something, even though he essentially has.

"Hey," Jensen says, sitting back in his chair and trying to sound casual. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." Jared sounds completely unsuspecting, and Jensen wonders if it's real or an act. "What's up?"

Jensen scratches at the back of his neck, rolling his lips between his teeth and taking a moment to gather up the courage to say, "Um, about that night, uh, after Katie's party--"

"Jensen," Jared cuts him off. "Do we really need to do this?"

"Uh, I think--yeah. Maybe," Jensen says unsurely. When Jared doesn't say anything, he continues, "I just don't understand what happened."

"I told you," Jared says calmly. "I had too much drink; I wasn't thinking clearly."

"You didn't drink that much."

Jared just shrugs, and Jensen sighs, frustrated. "Jared. Seriously."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Jensen. I already said I was sorry."

"I know; that's not--"

"I can't do anything else. I can't--" Jared stops, looking a little desperate. "I don't think we're gonna accomplish anything by talking about this."

"I just want--"

"Well, I don't," Jared says. Jensen makes a frustrated noise, annoyed that Jared won't let him get a full sentence out. "Look, Jensen, let's forget about it, okay? Just like--the other time."

"Jared--"

"It won't happen again," Jared says. "I promise." And with that he gets up, not even bothering to put his plate in the sink before he walks out and leaves Jensen alone in the kitchen. Frustrated, Jensen heaves a sigh and lets his head drop down onto the table.

***

Jensen's not entirely happy with the way they're leaving things, but he doesn't know what he can do about it. Jared's obviously not going to talk about it, and if Jensen's honest, he's not sure what good it would do anyway. Jensen's not completely sure how long he's been suppressing these more than friendly feelings for Jared, but he's relatively sure this is not the type of thing to pop up over night. He's always known Jared was attractive, and a great guy, and, okay, when they'd first met, Jensen had immediately wanted him. But having more than friendship hadn't been an option since nearly six years ago, when Jensen decided he couldn't sacrifice a friendship with Jared for a relationship he wasn't emotionally capable of at that point. They'd agreed to be friends then, and Jensen hasn't really looked back since. And everything was going fine until he went and moved in with Jared, agreed to pretend to be his boyfriend, and then kind of had sex with him.

When put that way, it's possible Jensen shouldn't be at all surprised he's gotten himself into this mess.

Jensen doesn't know what's going on with Jared and the whole almost having sex with your best friend-slash-roommate thing, but he honestly doesn't think it's anything like what's going on with him. The only thing talking to Jared about it is likely to accomplish is Jensen ending up having to talk about his feelings or something, which is going to fuck everything up.

So Jensen's going to have to keep it to himself and figure out how to deal with this. He's apparently done it before; surely he can do it again.

***

Jared convinces Jensen to go see a movie with Chad and Kenzie. It's not something that sounds like a fun time to Jensen, but--

"It'll be fun," Jared says earnestly.

"You use that word a lot." Jensen looks at Jared, unimpressed.

Jared scoffs. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"I say that like it's a lie," Jensen corrects. "You want me to go to a movie with Chad."

"I don't want you to date him or anything." Jared rolls his eyes at Jensen's look of horror. "Movie theaters are dark. You can pretend he's not even there."

Jensen barely puts up a fight before giving in, and Jared looks a bit smug, like he never had any doubts.

"But you're buying me popcorn," Jensen says firmly. "The biggest one they have."

"Deal," Jared agrees.

Jared does buy the biggest tub of popcorn available, but he makes Jensen share it with him. Jensen puts up a token protest, but secretly he is a little horrified at the thought of that amount of popcorn being eaten by one person. He also gets a small thrill every time Jared's hand bumps into his over the tub; it's kind of pathetic, and he tries hard to ignore it.

Jared spends half of his time shifting around, trying to get comfortable and bumping his knee into Jensen's every time he moves. He also keeps invading Jensen's space so he can comment on the movie while keeping his voice low enough that it doesn't bother anyone else. His lips brush Jensen's ear on almost every word, and Jensen has to fight to keep from shivering. Jensen is half hard within fifteen minutes. It's ridiculous, and Jared being half pressed up against him constantly isn't helping, but it's not like he can really move away.

About halfway through the movie, they're mostly out of popcorn, and Jared leans in close to Jensen, keeping his voice low. "I'm getting a refill." Jensen raises an eyebrow at him, and Jared continues, "It's like getting one popcorn free. You can't just not get the free popcorn." Jensen snorts, and one of the women sitting in front of them turns to shush him; Jensen glares at her and hopes she can see it in the dark theater. Jensen can practically feel Jared stifling his laughter before he goes to get more popcorn.

When they're standing out in front of the theater after the movie's over, Kenzie says, "We should do this double date thing again." Jensen coughs, nearly choking on the coke he's drinking. Jared gives him a pat on the back, and Jensen shrugs him off.

"We're not on a date," Jensen says, more passionately than necessary.

"Oh." Kenzie's eyebrows go up in surprise, and she blushes. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Jared says. "We should hang out more often anyway." Jensen nods vaguely in agreement, ignoring the strange look Jared's giving him.

"Hey, what are you doing tonight?" Chad asks. "My friend's having a party, and--"

Jensen groans loudly, and Jared laughs. "It's a different friend from that other time," Chad says, and even he sounds amused.

Jared shakes his head. "Maybe next time. Some of us have to be at work in the morning."

The two couples say goodbye and part ways in the parking lot. Jensen is quiet on the drive home; his thoughts keep drifting to Kenzie talking about double dating. He'd been afraid he was overreacting as soon as he'd said the words, that Kenzie hadn't meant anything by it, but her surprised reaction said otherwise. It's not the first time someone assumed he and Jared were together; it happens sometimes, and Jensen doesn't think much of it. But it is the first time anyone has thought they were on a date _with_ Jared and Jensen, and Jensen thinks maybe that is a little different. Usually when people make that mistake, they don't even know them, but Kenzie had been around them all night and still thought they were a couple.

Jensen can't stop thinking about it even half an hour later when he's lying in bed, wondering how many other people saw them and assumed they were on a date tonight. He remembers the way Jared leaned into him during the movie, whispering in his ear and reaching across him for handfuls of popcorn, and he thinks maybe it was a lot. His cock starts to harden just thinking about it, and Jensen remembers that, too, how Jared had him half hard all night long with his close proximity and constant touches. Jensen imagines how it would have been different if they'd actually been on a date, if Jared would have touched him with more purpose, if he would have kissed him, his mouth tasting like salt and fake butter.

Jensen slides his boxers down and curls his hand around his erection, and he thinks about Jared doing that, too, right there in the movie theater. Jared unzipping his jeans and pulling his cock out in the open, moving his hand slowly to keep from drawing attention. Jared would lean in close, trying to disguise his actions, and whisper, his mouth pressed right up against Jensen's ear, telling Jensen all the filthy things he'd do to him when they got home.

Jensen bites his lip, imagining it's Jared's hand stroking his cock as he comes, warm come splashing over his stomach. After a minute, Jensen wipes himself clean with discarded shirt and pulls his boxers back up. He clenches his eyes shut tight.

And he thought denial was supposed to be easy.

***

They're watching TV, halfway paying attention and halfway making fun of the movie that's on, when Jared mentions the barbeque his parents are having in a few weeks.

"There's not really any occasion," he says. "Mom is just looking for an excuse to get everyone together since things were so hectic at the wedding."

"A family reunion, huh," Jensen says. "What did I tell you?"

Jared laughs. "It's not a family reunion, jerk. It's just a… thing." He shrugs, making a vague gesture.

"Still."

"Yes, you're still right about everything ever," Jared says. "Anyway, I told my mom we'd be there, but I figured I should maybe actually mention it to you too."

"Oh," Jensen says, fiddling with a loose thread on the couch cushion. "Um. Right."

"What?" Jared asks, frowning.

"Maybe that's not a very good idea," Jensen says hesitantly.

"Oh." Jared looks at Jensen, confusion clear on his face.

"Yeah," Jensen says unhelpfully.

Jared is quiet for a moment, just looking at Jensen. "Why exactly do you think it's a bad idea?"

Jensen shrugs uncomfortably. "I--this thing has been going on for a while. Maybe we should, you know…"

"What?"

"Maybe you should tell your family we broke up."

"Oh," Jared says. "I guess--yeah. If you want."

Jensen sighs. "It's just--I don't know. I'd hate for them to start getting ideas about us being serious or something." He doesn't mention that he doesn't think he could handle pretending to date Jared anymore without going crazy.

"Right."

"And it's not like we could pretend to be dating forever. It was going to have to stop eventually."

"Of course," Jared says, nodding. "You're right."

"And the whole point was to keep your mom from trying to set you up that guy, right? She probably won't be trying to set you up with anyone for a while if she thinks you're all--" Jensen waves his hand in Jared's general direction.

"Heartbroken over you?" Jared asks, smiling faintly.

Jensen makes an affirmative noise. "Basically. I mean, tell them we're still friends, but, you know, we--"

"Jensen," Jared interrupts softly. "I get it."

Jensen grimaces. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Jared shrugs. "Like I said, you're right. I'll tell her we broke up. It's not a problem."

"Okay," Jensen says. "Yeah, okay."

They watch the rest of the movie in silence, and Jensen almost feels like he actually broke up with Jared instead of just deciding to pretend to.

***

Jared starts bringing his work home with him, something he's rarely done before. It seems he is willing to ignore the fact that Jensen works with him and knows that there's not anything too pressing to get done; most of the paperwork he deals with has to be done daily at the store, and making out the schedule for employees can't take that long. He starts spending more time shut up in his room alone, and when he does come out, he's quieter than usual, hardly talking at all. One day he even skips lunch, giving Jensen an apologetic look as he tells him that he has too much work to do and Jensen should go on without him. And if Jensen didn't already know that was total bullshit, it's made abundantly clear later when Jensen catches Samantha worrying over Jared, telling him he's working too hard, asking if everything is all right.

Regardless of what Jared says, everything is clearly not all right. Jensen lets it go on for almost a week, hoping things will go back to normal if he ignores the situation, before he dares to even vaguely bring it up with Jared.

"You've been kind of quiet lately," Jensen says when they're both in the office at work. It's an almost laughable understatement and hardly what he really wants to say, but it's as direct as he can bring himself to be.

"You think so?" Jared looks over at Jensen from where he sits behind Samantha's desk.

"Yeah. Everything okay?"

"Fine," Jared says, turning back to the computer. "I guess I've been preoccupied with work."

"Yeah," Jensen says again. He turns back to his own work after a moment, not knowing what else to say and feeling ridiculous about it because since when is it hard for him to figure out what to say to _Jared_?

If he's honest with himself, Jensen admits he is a little bit pissed. At Jared, for acting this way, for apparently being upset with Jensen about him fake breaking up with him and not bothering to say he's upset with him about it, but at himself too, for letting things go so far in this direction and not having any idea what to do about it. It's not as though he and Jared have never fought before, but they've never done--whatever this is; they're not even really fighting, but Jensen doesn't know what to call it. They've never done this, and Jensen has no fucking clue what he's supposed to do in this situation

***

Jensen finds himself turning to Katie, sprawled out on her couch with his feet propped up on her coffee table, spilling out all of his concerns.

"This is precisely what I was afraid of," Katie says from where she sits perched on the other end of the couch.

"What?" Jensen asks, disbelieving.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea to move in with him, work with him, and be around him all the time," she says. "And I told you it wasn't a good idea to let his family think you were dating." Katie pauses, wincing. "Sorry. I don't want to be all, 'I told you so,' but--"

"But you told me so?" Jensen says, laughing a little despite the circumstance.

"Well." Katie shrugs. "I'm just saying it was bound to happen eventually."

"What was?"

"This whole thing," she says, waving her hand in Jensen's direction. "Well, maybe not this exact situation, but with you harboring all those feelings--"

"I wasn't harboring feelings," Jensen protests. Katie raises her eyebrows skeptically, not even bothering to address Jensen's interruption.

"With you harboring all those feelings, it's not surprising it all got out of control eventually."

"I wasn't harboring any feelings," Jensen says again, petulant.

"I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but you totally were," Katie says with a sympathetic look on her face.

Jensen groans. "Is it seriously that obvious?"

"Not to everyone. I don't think."

"Well, that's reassuring. Why didn't you ever say anything about it?"

Katie shrugs. "I don't know. You seemed so oblivious whenever I even hinted at it. I figured either you didn't want to talk about it or you actually were that oblivious," she says, pausing for a second. "So which one is it?"

"I wasn't trying to keep any secrets," Jensen says honestly. "It's not like I've just been sitting around pining after him or something."

"Then what is it like, exactly?"

Jensen shrugs. "I don't know. When we first met, it was--we actually went on a couple of dates."

"Seriously?" Katie asks, her eyes widening a little.

"Yeah. But don't get too excited," Jensen warns her. "It didn't amount to much. I asked him out, we went out, and--it wasn't bad or anything, but we decided to just be friends. I was--kind of a mess, really. I wasn't in any position to be dating anybody. It was right after I came out to my parents, and they--well, you know," Jensen makes a gesture in the air because even after six years it's hard for him to talk about his parents disowning him. "So, anyway, that was that."

Katie rolls her eyes. "It was obviously not just that."

"It was though," Jensen protests. "Well, I mean, it's not like I never thought about him like that, but I didn't think it meant anything."

"So you really are that oblivious."

"Shut up," Jensen says mildly. "Look, if it had been a big thing, I would have said something to him. I'm not twelve. But it wasn't. Not then, at least. And okay," he admits, "maybe I've been a little bit oblivious more recently."

"Clearly," Katie says.

Jensen bites his lip. "Yeah. And now--everything is so fucked up. I can't say anything to him; it would only make everything worse."

"Maybe," Katie agrees. "But maybe not. Maybe you should talk to him about it."

"I already tried that," Jensen says. "Twice. I don't think I can, like, literally force him to talk to me. I'll piss him off even more."

"Yeah." Katie sighs. "I wish I could help more; I just don't know him that well."

"I just wish I knew what was going on with him. He was acting totally normal; I mean, I was actually annoyed at how normal he was acting and how was pretending we didn't totally almost have sex. I told him we shouldn't pretend to be dating anymore, and now it's all weird," Jensen says, and then he has a thought. "Maybe he figured it out, and now he's uncomfortable around me and doesn't want to say anything." It hadn't occurred to Jensen before, but it might actually make sense.

"I don't know," Katie says. "If he didn't realize before, I don't think that would have clued him in."

"Well maybe he already suspected. I did kind of make out with him and try to have sex with him a couple of times too, remember?"

Katie waves her hand dismissively. "People have meaningless sex all the time."

Jensen laughs without cheer. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I didn't mean it that way. I meant maybe he thinks it didn't mean anything to you."

"Maybe," Jensen concedes. "But he's the one who stopped it and kept saying it was a mistake that should never happen again, not me."

"Yeah. I still don't think you're going to know what's going on unless you guys talk."

Jensen sighs forlornly.

"Sorry," Katie says. "Want to talk about something less depressing?"

"Please," Jensen says emphatically.

"I've been thinking about adopting a kitten," Katie offers, and Jensen gladly listens to Katie debate the pros and cons of raising a kitten as he tries to forget about the whole thing with Jared for a little bit.

***

Jensen starts dreading going to work. Samantha never says anything to him, but Jensen keeps catching her sending him concerned looks when she thinks he's not paying attention; she does the same thing to Jared. Eventually, even Chad starts staring at Jensen all sympathetically, and Jensen knows it must be obvious something's going on between Jared and him if Chad is feeling sorry for him.

Surprisingly, Jared keeps scheduling himself to work at the same time Jensen does most days. It would make it a lot easier for Jared to avoid him if he didn't, but then maybe Jared is trying not to be obvious about it. Jensen thinks it would be preferable if they weren't working together. Jared spends an entire break period talking about the weather--seriously, the fucking weather--and Jensen kind of wants to scream at him. Jensen is trying to be patient and let Jared work through his shit in his own time, but it's getting harder and harder to do.

***

Jensen walks into the kitchen on a Tuesday, intending to riffle through the cabinets even though he already knows there's not really anything to eat. They need to go grocery shopping, and if even Jensen thinks so, it's getting bad. He opens up the refrigerator, and--there is actually food in there. Where there was most definitely nothing in there the day before but some ketchup and moldy lettuce. Jensen bites his lip and steps into the living room where Jared is.

"Did you go grocery shopping?" he asks, as if there could be some other explanation.

Jared looks up at Jensen from where he's sitting on the couch. "Yeah," he says. "Last night, while you were at work."

"You didn't even ask me to go." Jensen is silently thankful his voice comes out calm and even.

Jared shrugs and wrinkles his brow. "You hate going to the grocery store. I didn't think you'd want to go."

"I would have gone if you'd asked me to."

"It's fine," Jared says. "It's not a big deal."

Jensen wants to disagree with that, but he doesn't. "Okay," he says instead. "Yeah, um. Thanks, then."

"Sure." Jared turns his attention back to the television, and Jensen walks down the hall and into his room. Jensen does hate grocery shopping; he should be grateful. There is no reason for his chest to feel so tight.

***

Jared goes to the barbeque at his parents' house alone, and Jensen is not even ashamed to admit that he hid in his room before Jared left that morning. Jensen can't help thinking about the fact that a big part of the reason things are so fucked up right now is because of the stupid barbeque and Jensen's refusal to go. Jensen never thought he'd be so happy to see Jared leave, or--not happy maybe, but relieved. And he feels bad even thinking it, but he can't help feeling a bit lighter knowing he'll have almost two whole days without the heavy air of tension that clouds around him when he's in the same room as Jared lately. Jensen is so fucking tired, mentally and physically, and he just wants a few days to unwind.

It doesn't work though, not really. Jensen tries to relax and get his mind off things, but his thoughts keep coming back to Jared. Then Sharon calls the next afternoon, and Jensen wishes he could say he's surprised, but he's basically been expecting it since the minute Jared left.

"I wanted to see how you're doing," she says after a few minutes of mostly pointless conversation.

"Jared told you we broke up," Jensen says. She hasn't mentioned it, but Jensen doesn't feel like pretending that's not why she's calling.

"He did," she confirms.

"Yeah. Sorry--"

"You don't need to apologize," Sharon says, sounding almost amused. "Like I said, I just wanted to see how you were."

"Okay. Yeah, I'm fine."

"Jensen," she says after a short pause. "You've been Jared's friend for a while now; he really cares about you. I really care about you, too."

"I know," Jensen says because he does, and he doesn’t know what else to say.

"I know your family isn't really--available," she pauses while Jensen snorts at that. "Yes, well," she says, laughing a little. "I want you to know that you can still call me if you ever need to talk. I know you have friends, but--I'm still available too."

"I know," he says again, biting his lip.

"Good."

"I think we really screwed things up," Jensen says before he can think about it. "I just--I want us to be able to still be friends."

"I know. And I know Jared wants that, too."

"Yeah?"

"Of course he does," she admonishes. "But it's going to take some time. You're both hurting right now; you two just need some space."

"Yeah," Jensen says, wondering what exactly Jared's been doing or saying to convince his mom he's upset about breaking up with Jensen. "Maybe you're right."

"Don't sound so surprised," she says, laughing.

"Sorry," Jensen says, laughing a little now too. "Um, thanks for calling. I appreciate it. Really."

"Of course," Sharon says. "I'm here anytime; I mean it."

Jared gets home a handful of hours later, and Jensen thinks Sharon probably called him almost immediately after Jared left her house.

Jensen has spent the last few hours thinking, and Jared is barely through the door when Jensen approaches him. "Your mom called me earlier."

Jared winces. "I figured she would. What did she say?"

"Not much," Jensen says. "She seemed pretty concerned though."

"Yeah, she was kind of upset when I told her about the breakup."

"Yeah?"

Jared sighs. "She kept asking me if I was sure we couldn't work things out, and I…" he trails off, and Jensen raises an eyebrow in question.

"You what?"

"Nothing," Jared says, shaking his head and shrugging. "I--I feel bad about lying to her. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees softly. "You could--maybe you should tell her the truth."

Jared laughs without amusement. "I don't--I don't know. Maybe."

"So, listen," Jensen says and takes a deep breath. "Your mom was telling me she thinks we probably need some space from each other."

"Okay," Jared says slowly, sounding unsure.

"Well, I think maybe she's right."

"Jensen, we--we didn't really break up, you know?"

Jensen sighs. "I know, but. Something else is going on here, Jared."

"Jensen--"

"No," Jensen interrupts. "I'm tired of pretending everything is okay, that there's nothing going on. I can't do it anymore." Jared's eyes widen a little, and he goes slightly pale. Jensen wonders if he honestly thought Jensen didn't realize anything was up.

"Okay," Jared says. "You want space. Okay."

"I'm going to start looking for an apartment again."

"You're moving out?" Jared asks, and he looks almost shocked.

"This was only supposed to be temporary anyway."

"Yeah, but--"

"Jared, come on," Jensen says, cajoling. "It's not a big deal, man. I'm not--I just think I should get my own place."

"Okay," Jared says, sounding resigned.

"Okay. So, uh, do you want to talk about what's been going on lately, maybe?" Jensen tries, thinking maybe the fact that Jared's not denying things have been weird means he'll be willing to actually talk about it.

Jared sucks in a breath. "No, I don't--don’t think that's necessary," he says, and a moment later he's gone off into his room.

It stings, but Jensen figures he shouldn't have expected anything else.

***

Jensen gives up on Jared coming out for dinner after several hours and makes himself a sandwich. He eats in front of the TV so he's not just sitting alone in silence, and it's weird without Jared there. It's not like they always eat together, but--well, when they're both home, they do. It's just worked out that way since Jensen moved in, with Jared cooking something most of the time just because he wants to, Jensen throwing something easy together occasionally, and them ordering take out the rest of the time. It's weird now to think of Jared, alone in his room, avoiding Jensen. Jensen wants to go apologize to him, say whatever Jared needs him to say to get him to come out, though he doesn't know what that would be. He can't convince himself that's a good idea, though, so he stays where he is.

About ten minutes after Jensen goes to bed, he hears Jared's door open and the sound of Jared rummaging around in the kitchen not long after that. Jensen stomach aches a little, and it takes him a while to fall asleep.

***

"Maybe I'm being drastic," Jensen tells Katie the next day when he's at her apartment, taking refuge.

"Drastic? Jensen, you've been going on about how weird Jared's been being for weeks."

"I know. But this moving out thing--I didn't really think it through. Maybe I shouldn't."

"No. No way," Katie says. "Seriously, I don't care what's going on with Jared--"

"Katie," Jensen says, almost scandalized.

Katie rolls her eyes. "That's not what I mean; let me finish. Whatever is going on with Jared, you are stressing the fuck out about it, and you're not happy living there."

"He seemed upset, though. I'm going to move, and he's going to hate me; things are never going to get any better."

"Jensen, I love you, but sometimes you are kind of irrational."

"This isn't a joke," Jensen says, exasperated.

Katie sighs. "I know it's not a joke. But I'm serious. Getting your own place is not a crime. So you guys are going through a rough patch; maybe you really do just need space."

"Maybe."

"God, stop looking so depressing," Katie says, smacking his arm lightly. "Your face is making me want to cry."

"You're terrible at cheering people up," Jensen says, giving her a small smile.

"I never said I wasn't. Now come on, you're supposed to be looking for an apartment in the rental ads."

***

It doesn't take long for Jensen to remember why he'd moved in with Jared in the first place: it's really fucking hard to find somewhere else to live. Katie claims Jensen is overly picky, raising one eyebrow skeptically at him every time he comes up with a reason to reject a place she suggests. She seems convinced he's doing it on purpose at this point, but he's not. Jensen is not finding living with Jared particularly fun right now. Not that he's even seen Jared all that much in the five days since Jensen told him he planned to move out. Jared spends most of his time around Jensen looking guilty and unsure; Jensen would ask him about it, but he's tired of trying to force Jared to talk to him. Jensen got tired of the awkward tension following Jared and him around, so they've been practicing mutual avoidance for the last several days.

Jensen is in his room, sitting on his bed and frowning at an email of apartment listings Katie's sent him, when he hears a knock on his open door. He probably shouldn't be surprised when he looks up to find Jared standing there, but he is.

"Hey," Jared says after a moment, and Jensen realizes he's just been staring at him blankly.

"Hey," Jensen returns, blinking and giving himself a mental shake. "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you for a minute." Jared bites his lip and fidgets where he stands.

"Sure," Jensen says. Jared continues to stand there awkwardly, so Jensen stands up, sets his laptop on the little desk shoved in the corner of his room, and turns to Jared. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

Jared steps farther into Jensen's room, leaning against the wall. "Um, well, I wanted to apologize actually."

"For what?"

"I realized I've kind of been acting like a jerk lately."

"You haven't been acting like a jerk; you've just been--" Jensen waves his hand through the air, "I don't know. Weird."

Jared huffs out a laugh. "Well, I'm sorry for being weird then. I, um--I wasn't thinking clearly, and I just--I don't know."

"Okay," Jensen says, still unsure and hoping Jared will elaborate.

Jared sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair. "I--you're my best friend, Jensen. I didn't want to fuck that up."

"Hey. You didn't fuck anything up, man. Nothing is fucked up," Jensen says, and he feels almost like he's trying to will that to be true just by saying it enough. Jared frowns, looking unconvinced, and Jensen sighs. "Jared, I'm not--I only want to give you some space. Give us both some space."

"Yeah," Jared says softly, looking away. "I know. But I--I want you to know that when I told my mom you were my boyfriend, I didn't mean anything by it."

"Um," Jensen says, blinking at the seemingly abrupt change of topic. "I know."

"Okay. I didn't want you to think it was some sort of--I don't know, plan to trick you into dating me or something."

Jensen stares at Jared, bewildered, with no idea what Jared is talking about. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he says.

"Sorry, I'm, uh--kind of nervous," Jared says, licking his lips and ignoring Jensen's confused expression at the words. "I mean--I didn't do it on purpose. It wasn't until after all of that started, and we were there with my family, pretending we were a couple, and sleeping in the same bed--and, God, Jensen you are a clingy bastard in bed--and I don't even know what happened--"

"Jared--"

"Jensen, please, just--it was really hard to ignore it after that. I mean, I tried, but--then after Katie's party, I thought maybe--well, I could have handled that better, but I kind of panicked, and everything got out of control, then you were acting strange, and I was trying to get over it without you noticing, but obviously that didn't work. I didn't want my feelings for you to cause any problems between us, so I didn't want to talk about it, but--well, now you're leaving, and I--I couldn't not say anything anymore."

"Jesus, Jared," Jensen says, gaping at Jared when he realizes what he's talking about. "Fuck." Jensen sits down on his bed. He doesn't think he can handle standing up anymore. He doesn't think he can handle forming words right now either.

Jared looks worried; he takes a few steps toward Jensen and just stands there, hovering. "Are you okay? Hey, I'm really sorry. Am I making it worse? I didn't mean to ramble like that. Look, I thought maybe it would be better to have it out in the open because obviously not talking about it isn't working, and I don't want the fact that I have feelings for you to mess everything up."

"The fact that you--" Jensen can't help but laugh at how utterly ridiculous the situation is. Jared makes a hurt noise at that, and that cuts Jensen's laughter off pretty quick. "No," he says, standing up quickly and stepping toward Jared. "I'm not--it's just, this is kind of a ridiculous mess. We're both fucking idiots. Um, I didn't know why you were acting weird--"

"Oh God," Jared says, his eyes going wide. "So I just--and you didn't--"

"Yeah, but don't freak out, okay; I didn't know what was going on with you, and I thought maybe if I moved out it would help, but--Jared, I've spent the last couple of months trying really hard to get over the way I feel about you. So." Jensen takes a breath and stares at Jared.

"Oh," Jared says, and Jensen watches a smile spread across his face. "So you--"

"Yeah."

"You're right," Jared says, stepping up into Jensen's space so there's barely an inch between them. "We're both idiots."

"Yeah, so--" Jensen starts, but he's cut off by Jared leaning down to kiss him.

Jensen doesn't hesitate; he brings his arms up around Jared's neck and kisses him back. Suddenly, Jared's hands are at Jensen's waist, then running up under his shirt, pulling him closer, sliding over his skin, everywhere. Jensen opens his mouth wider, letting Jared's tongue in to slide against his own. Jared presses forward harder, clicking their teeth together and tugging Jensen snugly up against him. Jensen's heart races, and his skin flushes; he can practically feel the blood rushing through his body as he starts to get hard.

Jensen pulls back after a minute, his mouth only a few inches away from Jared's. "Should we--talk about this or something?" He isn't sure it's necessary but figures this time he should ask before things get too far.

Jared shifts a little, pulling back just enough that he can blink at Jensen. "Um. If you want to."

"I just--I don't want there to be any confusion this time."

"I think we're on the same page now," Jared says. "But we can discuss it further if you think we need to." He starts to pull away, but Jensen stops him before he gets too far.

"No, just. If you're sure?" Jensen watches Jared intently.

"Trust me," Jared says seriously. "I'm sure. I promise."

Jensen nods. "Okay. Yeah, me too."

"Good." Jared grins. "So, can we..." he trails off, pressing closer again, shifting his hips into Jensen and making his intentions clear.

"Yeah," Jensen says fervently. "Definitely." Jared laughs a little and pulls Jensen into another kiss, and Jensen forgets all about talking.

Jensen backs up, pulling Jared with him, shuffling back until he reaches the bed so he can fall back onto it. Jared follows him down easily, Jensen's arms still around his neck, and Jared gets his hands around Jensen's thighs and tugs, roughly pulling him farther onto the bed. Jensen's breath hitches, and he can feel Jared's smirk against his mouth.

Jared settles himself over Jensen with one leg between his thighs, and he bites at Jensen's lip before slipping his tongue back into Jensen's mouth. He raises one hand up to hold Jensen's head where he wants it; Jensen doesn't protest, just opens his mouth wider and kisses Jared until his lips are tingling and feeling raw.

When Jared pulls back, Jensen can't stop the disappointed noise that leaves his mouth. Jared chuckles and pulls his shirt off quickly, tossing it carelessly to the side. "Yours too," he says, tugging at Jensen's shirt, and Jensen obeys instantly, sitting up and jerking it over his head. Jared pushes him back down flat, covering Jensen once again and dipping his head down, mouthing at Jensen's neck.

Jensen chews on his own lip as Jared bites and sucks at him; Jared's tongue flits out against his skin, teasing, and Jensen shivers, arching up against Jared's mouth. He clutches at Jared's sides, his nails biting into the skin there and leaving marks as Jared trails down, nipping at Jensen's collar bone, then lower, and Jensen jerks when he reaches a nipple and bites down.

Jared slides one hand down to press against Jensen's erection, and Jensen bucks up against it, cursing. Jared keeps moving lower, keeping his palm moving gently against Jensen's cock as he runs his mouth over the skin on Jensen's stomach. Jensen's hips twitch, trying to get Jared's hand to press harder, give him the friction that he needs. Jared flicks his tongue into Jensen's navel, and Jensen gasps, clenching his fists in the sheets as his stomach flutters under the touch.

Jared finally moves down until he reaches the top of Jensen's jeans, and he stops, biting down on the skin there before laving over it with his tongue. Jensen is going to be covered in bite marks and bruises before this is over, and the thought of it makes him feel hotter, harder where he's already straining in his jeans.

Jared moves his hand to the button of Jensen's jeans, resting it there and looking up questioningly, and Jensen is nodding so fast he almost makes himself dizzy with it. Jared gets Jensen's jeans down around his thighs and holds Jensen down with an arm thrown across his stomach. He holds Jensen's cock steady with one hand at the base and flicks his tongue out, running it over the head. He continues licking at Jensen, swirling his tongue over the tip of his cock, teasing until Jensen is squirming for more, straining against the arm pinning him down, desperate to have Jared's mouth on him.

"Please." Jensen gasps, unable to hold it in any longer. "Jared, fuck--" Jensen cuts himself off with a moan when Jared hums and finally slides his mouth down on Jensen's cock, engulfing him in heat and taking him all the way in, pressing down until he can't go any farther, Jensen buried in his throat. Jensen groans, incapable of forming words, and flexes his toes, feeling like he could almost come right now from the combination of feeling Jared's mouth, hot and wet, and seeing it, Jared's lips, flushed and swollen and shiny, stretched around him.

Jared pulls back, gasping for air before sucking at Jensen sloppily, swirling his tongue around. Jared pulls all the way off after only a few minutes, and Jensen can't do anything but blink at him stupidly.

"What," Jensen says, groaning in protests when Jared sits up.

"I thought maybe this time we could try actually getting naked," Jared says, his voice raspy. "If that's okay with you?"

Jensen blinks again, looking down. He'd forgotten they were still wearing clothes; Jared's jeans aren't even unbuttoned yet. "Yeah," he agrees. "Yes. Get naked."

Jared laughs but obeys, and Jensen watches as he stands up and undoes his jeans, shoving them down to the floor and kicking them out of the way. Jensen sits up and shoves his own jeans and boxers down the rest of way, letting them fall to the floor as well before he slides to the edge of the bed. He tugs Jared toward him to stand between his legs and leans forward, nuzzling against Jared's stomach and pressing a kiss there. He dips down, breathing out over Jared's cloth covered erection. Jared makes a noise and jerks forward, brushing against Jensen's face, and Jensen reaches out to hold Jared steady with one hand on each of his hips.

Jared's boxers are damp where precome has soaked through, and Jensen puts his mouth there, mouthing at the head of Jared's cock through the cotton. Jared twitches toward him, and Jensen pulls back and tugs Jared's shorts all the way down, freeing his erection. Jensen bends forward again, pressing his lips to the tip before flicking his tongue out against the silky skin, lapping at the salty precome gathered there.

Jared makes a vague noise in protest when Jensen pulls back, but Jensen shakes his head. "Come on," he says, scooting back to give Jared room to climb onto the bed with him. When Jared slides onto the bed, Jensen tugs him close and pulls him down into a kiss, letting their tongues tangle together for a moment before pushing Jared down on his back.

Jared goes easily, his legs parting slightly, and Jensen sits up between them, eyes trailing over Jared's body, from his dark, pebbled nipples, across his smooth, flat stomach, and down to where his cock juts up, flushed dark and red, the tip glistening with spit and precome. Jensen smirks and rubs at Jared's thighs, pressing his legs farther apart as Jared flushes under his gaze. Jensen slides back and sprawls out on his stomach between Jared's legs, going straight for his cock. He'll have to get properly acquainted with the rest of Jared later; he doesn't have the patience to do it now.

Jensen's mouth is watering before he even gets it on Jared, and he wraps one hand around the base of Jared's cock and slides his mouth right down, sucking lightly at the head as he flits his tongue around, digging into the slit. Jared makes a noise and surges up, and he slides in until Jensen's mouth hits his own fist, keeping him from choking.

Jared's hand comes down on the back of Jensen's head, resting there as he bobs up and down, sucking at Jared and savoring the feel of him heavy on his tongue. Jensen moves his hand, slick with spit and precome, over the length of Jared he can't fit into his mouth.

All too soon, Jared is leaning up and tugging at Jensen, urging him off, and Jensen moans in protest, keeping his mouth around Jared's cock. Jared sucks in a breath and twitches but doesn't give up.

"Jensen," he says, slightly out of breath. "Jensen, stop."

Jensen pulls off and looks up at Jared, almost glaring, unimpressed with being interrupted from his task. Jared bites his lip; he's obviously holding back laughter, and Jensen is pretty sure he's pouting now.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Jared says, tugging Jensen up to give him a kiss, his tongue coming out to flick against Jensen's briefly before he backs off again. "But I was hoping you could fuck me."

A noise escapes Jensen at that, almost a growl, as a flood of want rushes through him, and he surges forward, pressing his mouth against Jared's and darting his tongue in quickly, licking into his mouth a few times before pulling back. "I can do that."

Jared settles back on his elbows as Jensen reaches over to his nightstand and takes out a condom and a tube of lube. He drops the condom on Jared's chest and flicks up the cap on the lube, but before he can do anything with it, Jared takes it from him, slicks his fingers up, and reaches down, whimpering a little as he presses two fingers inside himself.

Jensen groans and drops his head down against Jared's shoulder, taking several deep breaths before pulling back up. He scoots back far enough that he can look down and see where Jared's fingers are disappearing, shoved in deep, stretching himself open. Jensen bites at his lip and reaches down, slides his hand against Jared's to get it slick, and sinks one finger in beside Jared's.

"Fuck," Jared says, pulling his hand away and falling back flat on his back, letting Jensen take over. Jensen slides another finger into Jared's hole, twisting them around, sliding out and back in as Jared arches toward him. He continues until Jared is shifting around and making desperate little noises, begging for more without words. He starts to add a third finger, but Jared shakes his head, grabbing the condom and trying to open it with slick fingers.

Jensen slides his own fingers out and hastily wipes them against the sheet, then takes the package from Jared, tearing it open and quickly rolling the condom down on his cock. Jared reaches down, and Jensen bites back a moan as Jared wraps his slick hand around Jensen, stroking a few times and messily spreading lube around before pulling back. Jensen tucks in closer to Jared, using one arm to brace himself over him and reaching between them with the other, lining himself up and pushing into Jared.

Jared tilts his head back, mouth open around a moan as Jensen slides into him. Jensen sinks in slowly, twisting his face up in concentration, focusing on not coming too soon as Jared clenches around him, hot and tight. Jensen stops when he's pressed in as deep as he can get and braces himself on his forearms, panting.

"Come on," Jared says roughly as he clutches at Jensen's shoulders and brings one leg up around him, trying to pull him in closer; he rolls his hips, encouraging Jensen to move. Jensen complies, watching Jared's face as he starts thrusting, pulling almost all the way out, leaving Jared clenching around just the head of his cock before he thrusts back in, quick and smooth. He shifts on each thrust until Jared clenches his eyes shut and tenses around him, shuddering.

"Fuck, yeah," Jared says. "Right there, just--fuck, Jensen."

Jensen fucks into Jared steadily, positioned exactly how Jared wants him, and Jared rocks up against him, meeting each thrust with equal force. Jensen's pace quickens, and soon he is slamming into Jared, hard, as Jared writhes on his cock.

"God, Jared--" Jensen's voice is barely more than a rasp as heat pools in his belly, and he manages to brace himself on one arm, sliding the other between them and wrapping his hand around Jared's cock. He strokes once, twice, and then Jared is gasping and coming, his entire body shaking as he clenches around Jensen and hot come pulses out between them, coating Jensen's hand and Jared's chest. Jensen keeps his hand working on Jared's cock until Jared pushes it away.

Jared strains up, pressing his mouth to Jensen's for a messy kiss, and he bites down, tugging on Jensen's lip with his teeth. Jensen's hips stutter, and he manages a few more thrusts before he presses in as deep as he can, grinding his hips against Jared as he comes. He trembles, the intensity of his orgasm leaving him feeling weak, and he collapses mostly on top of Jared, panting. He presses a sloppy kiss to Jared's chest before resting his forehead there, breathing harshly as Jared hums and runs a hand up Jensen's back and into his hair.

Jensen collects himself enough to carefully pull out and dispose of the condom, tossing it toward the trash and not particularly caring where exactly it ends up. He falls back onto the bed, and Jared slides up close to him, slipping one hand behind Jensen's head and kissing him slowly, tongue sliding in deep and tangling lazily with Jensen's.

They separate after a moment, still working on fully catching their breath. Jared props himself up on one elbow and rests his other hand on Jensen's stomach.

"Hey," Jared says, looking down at Jensen.

"Hmm." Jensen blinks at him; he's not quite ready to try for actual words yet.

"So, do you wanna go on a date sometime or something?"

Jensen laughs, and Jared pokes him in the side, pouting. "Sorry," Jensen says, leaning up to give Jared a quick kiss. "Yes, Jared. I would love to go on a date with you sometime. Or something."

Jared tries to glare, but he's grinning, and he doesn't resist when Jensen pulls him into another kiss.

***

They eventually make it out of the bed and into the shower. And once the water runs cold, they make it out of the shower, too. They're too exhausted to bother with dinner on their own, so they order in, and while Jared's on the phone, Jensen has a passing thought of starting the laundry; his sheets are unbearably filthy. Then he realizes there's a whole other bed for him and Jared to mess up, and he can't stop grinning. Jared grins back when he sees it, like they're sharing some secret. He sits down on the couch next Jensen, pressed up against his side, and sighs.

"So," Jared says, sounding slightly ominous. "I might have told my mom the truth about us not really dating."

Jensen shifts so he can face Jared and raises an eyebrow at him. "You might have?"

"Okay, I did."

"And how did she take it?" Jensen figures it couldn't have been too bad, or he would have already gotten a phone call.

Jared shrugs. "Well, she said it wasn't necessary to spin an intricate web of deceit around her," he says, making a face. "I think she was going for dramatic there."

Jensen snorts. "Intricate? It was like the least thought out plan ever."

"Yeah, I told her that. Then she sighed and said, 'Jared, I love you, but you are an idiot.' It was a little disheartening."

"Your mother is very smart," Jensen says. Jared glares and swats at him playfully.

"Anyway," he says. "I think she would have been angrier if I wasn't so upset. I didn't even mean to tell her, but she kept saying I shouldn't worry because she was sure you and I would work things out, and I couldn't take it anymore. Besides, let's be honest, it's kind of a miracle I made it this long without blurting it out to her the first time she looked at me funny."

Jensen rubs Jared 's arm consolingly. "You should really know better than try to lie to or keep secrets from your mom," he says. Then he looks at Jared more seriously. "And you should know better than to think you can't talk to me about things."

"I know." Jared says. "I'm sor--"

"You don't have to apologize," Jensen interrupts, shooting Jared a reassuring smile. "I'm not exactly innocent here either. I'm just saying. Can we agree to at least try to avoid any absurd, unnecessary situations and misunderstandings in the future and actually talk to each other?"

"Yes," Jared says. "Definitely. We can agree to that."

Jensen grins. "Good. Now can we make out until the food gets here?"

"You're completely insatiable." Jared laughs, but he tugs at Jensen's waist, and Jensen shifts until he's straddling Jared's lap.

"I think you like it," Jensen says, wrapping his arms around Jared's neck.

Jared hums and gives Jensen a thoughtful look. "Maybe. We do have some time to make up for."

Jensen bites his lip and shrugs. "We've got plenty of time now," he says, and he doesn't just mean right now, while they're waiting on pizza.

"Yeah, we do." Jared smiles like he gets it and pulls Jensen in for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for the 2011 round of spn_j2_bigbang.
> 
> I was very lucky to get a wonderful artist, awakencordy, who was so great to work with and created some really gorgeous and perfect art that I completely love. Please go [here](http://awakencordy.livejournal.com/512070.html) to check it out and let awakencordy know how amazing it is!
> 
> I owe a huge thanks to my betas, tinypinkmouse, twasadark, and wolfish_willow, for helping me fix some of the issues I had with this fic and putting so many of my worries to rest. I truly appreciate all of the help and can't thank them enough.
> 
> And I want to say thanks to everyone who listened to me panic at any point over the last six months or so; I don't know if I would have finished this fic without all of the encouragement, so thanks for being there! ♥


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